...ItGOesON::::::

年歲的限制

2007-08-30T20:55:00.000+08:00

為甚麽人會受年嵗的限制呢?
覺得從前的自己好幼稚啊。
但是明天又會覺得今天的自己幼稚。
可是今天怎麼也不覺得自己幼稚...
為甚麽人都有年齡這個盲點呢?
你怎麼能把我的幼稚看得開呢?
自己都快要受不了!
還在懊惱何時會變成熟...
怎麼就好像只有我一個在啲咕呢?
唉呀，你的體諒真好!

"Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart."

1Cor4:5

"所以，時候未到，什麼都不要論斷，只等主來，他要照出暗中的隱情，顯明人心的意念。"

林前4:5

A Quick Update

2007-07-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

Lately, I've been quite cross about some theology problems... I kinda understand, meanwhile I don't quite understand. I've talked about it with Dean. He understood me and he's over the problems I'm having. I need the light of the Holy Spirit and the grace of God! I need Him to open my eyes. I don't want theological knowledge but the faith the truth brings me.

Had a wonderful cell group last night. The theme of the night is one question - You're allowed to ask a dying Christian only ONE question, what will your question be?

My question's: What have you learned from the Lord all your life? We had a "lucky draw" and Dean was the luck one to answer my question.

Dean's answer's: God's sovereign grace. I love this answer as this's what I'd say if I was asked the same question.

Origins of "Religion"

2007-07-02T21:16:00.000+08:00

Couldn't fall asleep last night so did a little research of the origins of the word "religion". It's obvious that the English word derives from the Latin religio, which means "reverence (for God)" or "conscientiousness". However, the origins of religio are unknown.

Etymologists have different interpretations for religio:

Relego

Meaning 1:Re-reading – from Latin re (again) + lego (in the sense of "read"), referring to the repetition of scripture.

Meaning 2: Treating carefully – from Latin re (again) + lego (in the sense of "choose"– this was the interpretation of Cicero) "go over again" or "consider carefully".

Religare

Meaning 1: Re-connection to the divine – from Latin re (again) + ligare (to connect, as in English ligament). This interpretation was suggested by St. Augustine (following the interpretation of Lactantius) and is commonly accepted by modern scholars such as Tom Harpur. It can be understood as binding or returning to bondage – an alternate interpretation of the "reconnection".

Reslegere

Meaning 1: Concerning a gathering — from Latin res (ablative re, with regard to) + legere (to gather), since organized religion revolves around a gathering of people.

Personally, I think they all make sense. In Christianity, Relego - bible study and meditation, Religare - relationship with God, and Reslegere - relationship with other Christians are all important. They all closely correlate to each other: Reslegere comes from Religare and Religare comes from Relego.

Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion

Cute Stuff; I Love

2007-06-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

Well, you won't believe what I've been doing... I've been establishing a blog for my collection of cute (and aesthetic) things! Well, I sent the blog link to Liza, she didn't quite believe it. Maybe I just don't look like the kind of people who like cute stuff... *haha* Anyway, I think it's cool to share my lovely collection with you guys *yayaya*. Tell me what you think about it.

Here's the link of my cute blog:

q-q.vox.com

Love ya~

A Day of Rest

2007-06-21T01:35:00.001+08:00

We didn't really have a weekend last week. We'd been super busy with ministries in China and didn't have a chance to have a good rest until today. This morning we slept in until 10am. After shower I cooked a nice late breakfast or early lunch for ourselves. We'd decided not to do much but spent time with the family. So we first spent time to pray and read the bible together. Then we romanced each other for a while. For the evening, we visited my family and had dinner with them. Family life is so nourishing - I feel so content and satisfied. Although it takes quite a long time to travel to my family's house, it's worth it.

See You When I Get There

2007-05-30T20:38:00.001+08:00

On 27th of May, you passed away...

I missed you so much
I kept thinking of the time we'd shared together
I just couldn't believe you're not there anymore

I passed by the place you used to live
It felt like as long as I get off the train
Walk to your house
I'd see you again
Sitting in your little room full of some old things that
Other people wouldn't bother to keep

I missed holding and rubbing your hands
They were so swollen last time I held them
They once were so skillful at cooking and sewing

I missed stroking and combing your hair
They were so grey and soft last time I combed them
There wasn't the hair band you'd always worn
That's useless when you just lie in bed all day

I missed singing Amazing Grace in your ears

The last time we talked face to face
You told me to open my heart
And be happy

You're like my another mother
For seven years you took care of me

I missed the little house we used to live in
The well I used to play next to
The fruit tree you planted
And the big green field before our front yard
I thought they'd last forever

I missed you

I'll see you in the City of Live
See you when I get there

Grace

2007-05-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

People tend to put the norm of other "religions" in their understanding of Christianity. The most obvious one is making a happier (or healthier, wealthier, you name it) life. They think the holy bible is merely a guide to a better life. I won't deny that, but it's just partly true.

We all know that we can never escape from sorrows and troubles as we live in a fallen evil world. Bible's pretty open about this fact. You look at the bible, sad stories are all over the place. Good people get killed, poor people are suppressed by the rich, people suffer from incurable diseases, righteous people are persecuted by hypocrites, and there more. The worst is the protagonists in those sad stories are people who believe in God Jehovah...

So what's good about Christianity? There's only one thing - GRACE. It's grace makes Christianity so different from other religions. Grace can't be gained by any means. Grace is not about what we can do to get things right but how much help and understanding and comfort we can get when things don't get right. Very often people wanna get things right by themselves. That's understandable as we hate the frustration of incapability and the rejection of asking for help. However, for most of the time we can't do everything by ourselves as we all are limited people with different strengths and weaknesses. That's why we need grace. Grace's rare in this world as people can't offer what they don't have. People can't give grace if they don't receive or experience grace. And only God gives grace.

Originally written on 1/26/07 at 4:08 PM

Genesis According to the Miao People

2007-05-26T11:47:00.000+08:00

Genesis According to the Miao People
by Edgar A. Truax

Introductory Note:

The Miao tribes, or as it is spelled in most encyclopedias "Miautso," at one time occupied most of inland China south of the Yangtze River, but have been gradually driven into the mountains of the southwest by the better-armed and better-organized Chinese. The Miao of our section claim to have been driven out of Kiangsi Province.

The Miao traditions are very precise, as compared with those of many primitive peoples, because they are not only handed down in metrical form, but, also, they are in couplets, in which the same or similar meaning is expressed in different wording, so that the second sentence acts as a definition of the first, where it might otherwise not be clear. This is very much like one form of Hebrew poetry - an example of which is found in Psalm 21:1,2.

The Translation

The Creation

On the day God created the heavens and earth.
On that day He opened the gateway of light.
In the earth then He made heaps of earth and of stone.
In the sky He made bodies, the sun and the moon.
In the earth He created the hawk and the kite.
In the water created the lobster and fish.
In the wilderness made He the tiger and bear,
Made verdure to cover the mountains,
Made forest extend with the ranges,
Made the light green cane,
Made the rank bamboo.

Men

On the earth He created a man from the dirt.
Of the man thus created, a woman He formed.
Then the Patriarch Dirt made a balance of stones.
Estimated the weight of the earth to the bottom. (Note 1)
Calculated the bulk of the heavenly bodies.
And pondered the ways of the Deity, God.
The Patriarch Dirt begat Patriarch Se-teh.
The Patriarch Se-Teh begat a son Lusu.
And Lusu had Gehlo and he begat Lama.
The Patriarch Lama begat the man Nuah.
His wife was the Matriarch Gaw Bo-lu-en.
Their sons were Lo Han, Lo Shen and Jah-hu. (Note 2)
So the earth began filling with tribes and with families.
Creation was shared by the clans and the peoples.

The World Wicked

These did not God's will nor returned His affection.
But fought with each other defying the Godhead.
Their leaders shook fists in the face of the Mighty
Then the earth was convulsed to the depth of three strata.
Rending the air to the uttermost heaven.
God's anger arose till His Being was changed;
His wrath flaring up filled His eyes and His face.
Until He must come and demolish humanity.
Come and destroy a whole world full of people.

The Flood

So it poured forty days in sheets and in torrents.
Then fifty-five days of misting and drizzle.
The waters surmounted the mountains and ranges.
The deluge ascending leapt valley and hollow.
An earth with no earth upon which to take refuge!
A world with no foothold where one might subsist!
The people were baffled, impotent and ruined,
Despairing, horror stricken, diminished and finished.
But the Patriarch Nuah was righteous.
The Matriarch Gaw Bo-lu-en upright.
Built a boat very wide.Made a ship very vast.
Their household entire got aboard and were floated,
The family complete rode the deluge in safety.
The animals with him were female and male.
The birds went along and were mated in pairs.
When the time was fulfilled, God commanded the waters.
The day had arrived, the flood waters receded.
Then Nuah liberated a dove from their refuge,
Sent a bird to go forth and bring again tidings.
The flood had gone down into lake and to ocean;
The mud was confined to the pools and the hollows.
There was land once again where a man might reside;
There was a place in the earth now to rear habitations.
Buffalo then were brought, an oblation to God,
Fatter cattle became sacrifice to the Mighty.
The Divine One then gave them His blessing;
Their God then bestowed His good graces.

Babel

Lo-han then begat Cusah and Mesay. (Note 3)
Lo-shan begat Elan and Nga-shur.
Their offspring begotten became tribes and peoples;
Their descendants established encampments and cities.
Their singing was all with the same tunes and music;
Their speaking was all with the same words and language.
Then they said let us build us a very big city;
Let us raise unto heaven a very high tower.
This was wrong, but they reached this decision;
Not right, but they rashly persisted.
God struck at them then, changed their language and accent.
Descending in wrath, He confused tones and voices.
One's speech to the others who hear him has no meaning;
He's speaking in words, but they can't understand him.
So the city they builded was never completed;
The tower they wrought has to stand thus unfinished.
In despair then they separate under all heaven,
They part from each other the globe to encircle. (Note 4)
They arrive at six corners and speak the six languages.

Miao Genealogy

The Patriarch Jahphu got the center of nations. (Note 5)
The son he begat was the Patriarch Go-men.
Who took him a wife called the Matriarch Go-yong.
Their grandson and his wife both took the name Tutan.
Their descendants are given in order as follows:
Patriarch Gawndan Mew-wan,Matriarch Cawdan Mew-jew;
Patriarch Jenku Dawvu, Matriarch Jeneo Boje;
Patriarch Gangen Newang (wife not given);
Patriarch Seageweng, Matriarch Maw gueh.
Their children, eleven in number, was each the head of a family.
Five branches became the Miao nation.
Six families joined with the Chinese.

The story continues through many more pages, telling of the separation of the Chinese and Miao; their travels and demon worship, their division into families.

The Miao at funerals and weddings recite the ancestry of the principal or principals clear back to Adam. Their frequent use of it may account for its accuracy.

Notes:

[1] The Miao say that on the bottom of the bottom of the earth is a land of dwarfs.
[2] Note the similarity of some of these names to those in the Bible account: Seth, Lamech, Noah, Ham, Shem, and Japheth.
[3] Note the similarity:
Ham's descendants: Bible Cush, Mizram; Miao Cusah, Mesay
Shem's descendants: Bible Elam, Asshur; Miao Elan, Nga shur
[4] The literal translation here is: "They parted went live encircle world ball." The Miao know nothing of the world being round, so this passage seems to indicate the perfect knowledge of the original man - Devolution instead of Evolution.
[5] From this we see that they trace their ancestry from Japheth and Gomer, which makes them of the Indo-European stock.

The Miao did not originally worship idols, but learned this from the Chinese after having been subdued by them. This poem, which is learned by heart and transmitted from generation to generation, is translated and brought to you with the hope that you will be inspired to PRAY MUCH for these people. They evidently once knew the true God. Pray that they may learn to know Him as Father, and Jesus, whom He has sent to be the Way back to Him.

What We Want & What We Need

2007-05-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

"Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all."

Matt 6:32

God always gives us what we need even before we have recognised and asked for it. Before Adam was made, God used five days to make the whole world which have got everything Adam would need in his living. And well before Adam felt alone after naming all the animals, God had got the idea of making Adam a mate (Eve) in his mind. So He did. And for Eve, God's even "better" to her because she didn't even experience being alone like Adam had. Still she got everything she needs.

So sad that Eve didn't recognise (or believe) that her God Father always gave her what she really needed. She thought the loving Father would have kept something she needed away from her; that's "the fruit of wisdom (knowing good and evil)". She probably didn't think if she needed it or not. She just thought it's something good to have as it was a delight to the eyes, and it makes one wise. Finally, she got something that God hadn't given her. What happened is the fruit also brought her shame, sorrows, pain, and death which are not given by God. God knew she didn't need those...

I wonder how many times we think we need something but actually we don't. And the things we want can eventually destroy us, just like what eating "the fruit of wisdom" did to Eve. I think sometimes, we're just like Eve, we want something just because they look (or sound) nice to have. And other time, we want something simply because we don't have them. We don't totally believe that God always gives us everything we need - He keeps something good or even we need from us.

However, I'm so thankful that God is still faithful although we are not. He always gives us what we really need, even before we've recognised. He made Adam and Eve the garments of skins (which represent the salvation) and clothed them before they asked for it.

God Is Good

2007-05-22T21:54:00.000+08:00

After dinner, I spent time singing some hymns about God's grace. I love songs about God's grace (my favourite is Amazing Grace), because there's nothing better than God's grace. Or I'd say there's nothing can be compared with God's grace. Today talked about following God with Dean. He quoted John Piper - God alone is worthy to follow, even though he gives nothing good to us. So true. Very often, I heard people saying God is good BECAUSE blah blah blah (some reasons)... Actually, God is still good even though there's no "blah blah blah". God is good even he didn't know me; God is good even he hadn't had saved or chosen me. He is good simply because He's the origin of all kinds of goodness. He can stop blessing me but it doesn't change the truth that He's a good God. Because it's His nature. As we're fallen we deserve nothing good from Him, but judgement. However, grace makes the holy and mighty one come.

Praise and Pray

2007-05-17T21:57:00.000+08:00

Days and nights I must offer my praises to the merciful Lord. As You're the one who remembers the need and the one who meets the lowly. Thank you for listening to my plead - my grandma eventually has become a Christian! How exciting it is! My grandma's over a half century older than me, but she's a new born baby in Christ. How wonderful it is! Her body's old and possessed with illnesses, but she'll receive a new body on the day we together meet Christ our Lord. How great it sounds. Grandma has been living a tough life, but on that day there will no more tears in her eyes. What kind of hope it brings us! Seriously, I can't wait until that day!

However, our enemy's been trying to attack my grandma's faith. It keeps stopping Iris (my sister) and I preaching to my grandma. Sometimes it used criticism in the hospital, sometimes it provoked arguments with the people around us, and even physical sickness. We do need to pray, for our grandma, Iris, and I. Please pray for Dean too, as it's so exhausting to be my support.

Night Prayer

2007-05-16T23:09:00.000+08:00

Prayed with Dean before we go to sleep. I love praying with my husband, anytime and anywhere. I feel such indescribable intimacy with Dean when we're praying together. It feels closer than any physical touch. And I come to know more of Dean from what he prays. For this, I feel sorry for Dean because I usually pray in my first language. I tried praying in my second language, but making grammatical sentences always distracts me from my praying spirit. I wish I could pray in the tongue of English. It's not necessarily for my edification but for Dean's. I'm always thankful for Dean's understanding. Tonight we especially prayed for the direction of our future and our marriage. I prayed for humility, patience and forgiveness. Marriage is such a challenge. Before I discover Dean's weaknesses I discover how terrible I am! I'm inpatient, stubborn, and most of all, I think I'm always right (haha- it's funny- I know)! Some people say friends are a good mirror that allows you to see yourself. I think the same parable is also appliable to marriage.

Praise!

2007-05-15T09:56:00.000+08:00

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.

Psalm 30:5

I praise God as He's the one and only who's worthy of all praises. He's always in control. As what's stated in Ecclesiaste chapter 3 (v.1-8): There is a season for everything, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. And God has made everything beautiful in its time.

I've been crying and down for so long. What gain have I got from the toil? I've learned what it means to weep with the people who are weeping. I've witnessed what the gospel means to people who're dying. And I've understood all men share the same ending; no one can escape - we will have to face all the sins in our lives. For the truth God's revealed to me, I give thanks to Him. And just as Solomon said, I should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil. This is God's gift to man.

Jeremiah, the prophet of tears, for decades he'd been telling God's people (his brothers) to turn back to their Jehovah (the existing one). The Isrealites were so stubborn that they remained the same, even they were warned that their city would be destroyed. During his mission time, he experienced all kinds of humility, sorrows and frustration. However, in his Lamentations, he sang: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth in the dust - there may yet be hope; let him give his cheek to the one who strikes, and let him be filled with insults. For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men. (v.22-33)

I Cried

2007-05-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

Totally emotionally exhausted. Don't feel like praying, laughing, working or doing anything. Don't even wanna meet any of my friends. Just wanna hide in my house, and be with my family. Don't know what response I can give when I'm asked "How are you doing?" Apparently, I'm not fine at all; seriously I feel sick.

The scenes I saw in the hospital kept weighing on my mind. I've tried not to think about them and thought of something else. But they just came back. And when they are back, my tears just came out and I'd just start crying. I'm so tired of crying cause I've been crying for two days. I wondered if I'd become blind of crying.

I tried to talk to some brothers and sisters in Christ that I thought they'd care. Ironically, they didn't take it seriously. Their carefree speech hurts so much...

It's so hard to accept that someone you love so much is dying. What's worse is you know the person you cherish so much just doesn't mean anything to other people.

Everyday she's despised and insulted by people who should care about her. She's got no dignity at all. She can't walk and talk and see, so she can't escape and release her sorrows. But she still knows what are happening around her. The other day, I read her a gospel tract about God's unchanging love, she cried silently. I saw tears coming out from her shut eyes.

My Resting Place

2007-04-26T19:40:00.000+08:00

Long time no blog! Have been super busy with the new house. Slowly Dean and I are settling down in Fanling. Fanling seems to be the best place to live in for foreign missionaries since there're some foreign missionary agencies based in Fanling. I've been here only for a month but I've already met quite a few foreign missionaries from different missionary groups.

It's such an experience talking to Christians from different theological backgrounds. Honestly it can be quite challenging sometimes when their understanding or interpretation of certain scriptures and doctrines are quite different from mine. I'm always tempted to judge their theology not "correct" or not "of the Word". And the temptation can go so crazy and I struggle so much to see what is really right in God's eye. So often I become very disappointed and frustrated for I'm too limited to understand the unlimited Word; the unlimited truth; the unlimited God. He's indeed the origin of all richnesses. Sometimes God poured down His grace on me by giving me some revelation. I used to rejoice in those revelation. However later I found the more I know the more I grieve. Just like what Solomon said in Ecclesiastes "For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow (1:18)". But the more I grieve the more I see the truth which is God's love and grace. I'm set free when I come before His throne of grace. I'm not called to understand everything but to trust my doubts of everything in Him. Rest I find in Him; peace He brings to me. This is what I'm called to gain, out of His grace. Just as Israelites are called to enter Cannon.

Fight

2007-03-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

This afternoon I had a fight with Dean out of jealousy. That wasn't cool. Actually that's dumb - totally meaningless. Well, maybe that means something. At least I could see how insecure I am about myself and how much I'm in love with Dean that I want all of his attention. I want to be special in his eyes.

Then I became sarcastic about myself and that made me feel better. Can't explain why. Sometimes I just hate some characteristics of girls. Girls are annoying; pain in the neck. Unfortunately, I'm a girl. Other time I enjoy being a girl. Girls are lovely and irresistible.

Anyway, I had a fight with Dean. Then I thought of those days before I got Dean. Many nights in my room I prayed that God would give me an Issac. For having a partner who loves God is not about good luck nor good decisions, but God's grace. So, at the pantry I prayed for a while...

Tonight I called Dean. I told him that I love him.

And I love God too.

After Chinese New Year

2007-02-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

So the Chinese New Year holiday's over. Back to work today. It wasn't busy at work at all! As our customers are still in their holiday mood (I think). Very often I complained about how busy it was at the office but today I complained about not being busy for the first time. It was so boring! Being busy isn't fun, but it feels good when you succeed in tackling tasks.

Yesterday's cell group was wonderful! We all got to share our opinion on Romans chapter 8. Well, I never really liked the Romans. It's just too hard for me. I found so many theological questions I can't make out in this book. Especially on issues like the concept of "spiritually new born", the spiritual conflicts in Christians, the nature of victory. Yet I'm happy that I don't understand everything and I can choose to be tolerant about the unsure. I let God be God. The questions I have showed me how limited I am. However I'm the one who God loves and gives GRACE to. Praise the Lord!

My Chinese Blog

2007-02-24T22:01:00.000+08:00

Finally set up a Chinese blog! Well, Dean's been encouraging me to write in my first language and he even got me a Chinese input programme! So thanks to Dean. Here's the address of my new blog: min-gan.blogspot.com

Have a look at it if you can read Chinese and please feel free to leave me comments.

God's Pleasure

2007-01-17T19:54:00.000+08:00

Find something to allow myself to feel God's pleasure. The sprinter Eric Liddell told her sister, "God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure." What make me feel God's pleasure? I think they're Language learning or teaching and singing.

I love learning languages as I've always been fascinated by languages (and the way God made them). To me, all languages are beautiful when they're used in a right way (and right time as well). I'm also amazed by how languages reach and connect people. The other day I met a short term missionary from France. I tried to talk to him in French (actually just a few words) and asked him questions about French. And that changed the atmosphere we had at first. He then became more open to tell me his stories in France. I'm always thankful that God put me in a linguistic programme in univerisity as I find learning languages are so much fun (of course there're still some difficulties).

I had people tell me how good I am at teaching languages (mainly Chinese and English). Well, I never think I'm a good teacher as I don't know everything about the languages I teach. I guess people say it because I know how it's like when being a language learner. For most of the time, apart from telling of rules, I share my learning experience and strategies with my students.

Announcement

2007-01-13T13:30:00.000+08:00

I'm GLAD and PROUD to announce that Dean and I are getting married on 25th March, 2007.

A Quick Update

2007-01-12T00:18:00.000+08:00

Hey guys. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! (That's a late one, I know...) Long time no blog since Christmas. Have been very busy and moody. It seems I get moody pretty easily when I'm busy :( Anyway, This is the second skin I changed for 2007. Not satisfied with the first one. The code was messed up a bit, and I can't fix it!! So, here is the NEW skin - so much better.

Don't wanna go to bed early these few days, though I'm tired. (Right now is 12:34 am.) Just wanna be crazy. Maybe it's another way to express the frustration from my work... Oh well. So "jealous" of Iris as she's spending her holidays in Denmark *aww... so good...*

Done lots of stuff today.
- Applied for a postgraduate course I'd like to study.
- Got some more information about Dean and I's wedding from the wedding service place.
- Tidied up my room for a bit. (Mind you, I am a PIG!)
- Changed a new blogskin, of course!

Finally, I'm sleepy *really* Off to bed. Nighty night *XOXO*

P.S. Please give my blogpet bunny some food, it gets hungry all the time, THANKS.

Waiting for Tonight

2006-12-23T14:59:00.000+08:00

Hey I put a music video list of Silly Songs with Larry (from Veggie Tales) here *lahlah~* I love Veggie Tales! They're cute and funny (and Christian). Oh, the first video's a Christmas special *tehe* hope readers of this blog would like it :) I also put a little cutie PostPet clock on this blog, so kawaii!! Dean and I (with my youth group) are gonna have a night out in TST tonight! So excited. Gonna see some marvellous Christmas decoration and some good old friends! I'd ask Dean to bring his camera and take some nice pictures. But right now I'm sitting at the office; No day off for this weekend... Can't wait till tonight!

This Christmas

2006-12-20T17:17:00.000+08:00

*Yay* got a new skin for Christmas. Chose this skin as it carries a pretty deep message. Hope you guys like it. As Christmas's coming, people start asking me what I'm gonna do on that day. To be honest, I'm not sure yet. Pete invited Dean and I to watch the Nativity Story movie. On the other hand, my youth group's going to have a wild camp (or something like that). Dean doesn't have the money to go camping, so I don't think I'm going with my youth group. Feeling a bit guilty for not going with them. But, you know, this is the first Christmas I have with Dean *ooo*.

Anyway, I don't wanna be distracted by all the things people do for Christmas. I want myself to know the holiday is a gift from God. I should spend sometime with Him - remembering what He's done for me. People always have a very pleasant impression about Christmas. However, Christmas is a sad story. This is a story about a Father sending His lovely son to suffer and die for His other betrayal sons. The good son was all innocent, however He took the suffering out of the love He had for His brothers. He even gave His life for His brothers, yet His brothers didn't understand why He'd died for them...

I'm so thankful that now I know what my Brother's done for me; and understand why my Brother's died for me. Oh my dearest Brother, I love you.

Joy

2006-12-19T13:12:00.000+08:00

My back seems getting better. People who have been praying for me - THANK YOU! God does listen to our prayers. After all, It's the Sweet Daily Living working. Sweet Daily Living is a life style that helps us to fix our eyes upon God. Every morning, the first thing I do when I just wake up is to talk to God and meditate on the essential truth in Him. When I feel God's presence, the whole me (my mind and my body) is totally relaxed.

Lately, I'm learning to rejoice in God continually. Some people may think it's a funny idea. But yeah, I think rejoicing in God is something we need to learn as it requires lots of faith. Actually it's a training of our faith and mind. Faith doesn't come easy. It takes time to build up our faith for God. And Faith is based on truth. Truth becomes our faith when we let it live in our "hearts" which I interpret as "minds". Again making truth alive in our minds is no easy task. It takes time and effort and it's an exercise (as Paul said). Actually, it's a conscious process - as we need to choose to focus on what grows our faith and to ignore what doesn't.

Honestly, I find it hard sometimes but I choose to rejoice in God instead of being upset. For He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is madeperfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about myweaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 - NIV)

God's House

2006-12-15T11:18:00.000+08:00

My longing for the return of Christ is growing bigger .
I long to see my master face to face.
The face that glows Father's glory.

I know there's no other way to make Him come quicker.
But building up His HOUSE; His KINGDOM on earth.

I know He does not delay His return.
As He said He would come quickly (Revelation).
But how many time I delay my works for His return?
Like the Isrealites described in the book of Haggai,
How many time I think -
'The time has not yet come for
The LORD's house to be built"?
How often am I aware of the fact that
I am living in our paneled houses,
While His house remains a ruin?
How often am I aware of how "ruin" His house is
All over the world?
(Especially in places like
China, North Korea, Cambodia, Europe,
and many more)

Now this is what the LORD Almighty says:
"Give careful thought to your ways.
You have planted much, but have harvested little.
You eat, but never have enough.
You drink, but never have your fill.
You put on clothes, but are not warm.
You earn wages,
Only to put them in a purse with holes in it.
You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little.
What you brought home, I blew away.
Why? declares the LORD Almighty.
Because of my house, which remains a ruin,
while each of you is busy with his own house.

I must go up into the mountains
And bring down timber and build the house,
So that God takes pleasure in it and be honored

I must be strong and work,
For the LORD is with me.
And this is what He covenanted with me
When I came out of the darkness.
His Spirit remains among me.
I do not fear.

Now this is what the LORD Almighty says:
'In a little while I will once more
Shake the heavens and the earth,
The sea and the dry land.
I will shake all nations,
And the desired of all nations will come,
And I will fill this house with glory.
The silver is mine and the gold is mine.
The glory of this present house will be greater
Than the glory of the former house.
And in this place I will grant peace.

O my LORD, may you come QUICKLY!

*Verses are adopted from the Book of Haggai.

He Provides

2006-12-14T15:17:00.000+08:00

Had an awesome night with Bronze yesterday. We talked for ages (while we thought we only had talked for an hour or two). It was a good talk. Bronze, my mentor, gave a lot of helpful advice about life after married.

Bronze's a full time missionary in my church. Missionaries in my church don't get paid. They're only supported by individual Christians in the church. It's not easy to imagine a life without stable financial supports. However some people do live such life, for the sake of the gospel. Bronze's been a missionary for a decade. I looked at her and wondered how she could hold on till now. She told me she never thought she would be in the mission field for that long. At the time she started to serve in missions, she solely depended on a saving which could only feed her for three months. I'm so amazed by how graceful our God is. He looks after His servants.

This morning, I sang the hymn His Eye Is On the Sparrow. I worshipped God with all my heart, as He's my Jehovah Jireh. He's my provider - the origin of all kinds of richnesses. He always provides everything I (really) need even before I ask. I never asked for the salvation before I got saved, but already He died for it. He knew that I need the salvation; I would die (eternally) without it. "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (Matthew 6:25-26, ESV)

So I sing because I'm happy
And I sing beaause I'm free
His eye in on the sparrow
And I know he watches me

Hard Time

2006-12-11T22:21:00.000+08:00

Had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. Struggled so much as my back pain went horrible. Feeling a little bit frustrated; I've tried quite a few doctors (and specialist) already. Anyway, I'd keep having hope for my back's healing. Those who are reading this blog, please pray for me too. God remembers (and rewards) your grace for me.

So funny, it seems Australians like marble. The last non-Chinese customers I talked to are Australians. They like being recognized as Australian. Asking the question "are you from Australia?" or "which part of Australia are you from?" certainly would make them give you their business cards. Oh, one customer even tried to teach me say a proper "mate".

Remember the co-worker who shows me so little respect? He left the company yesterday! He made mistakes again and my boss went psycho about it. He couldn't handle the harsh words my boss said and he went psycho too. They had a quarrel then the worker shouted "I quit now!" Well, it's kind of a pity because I've just learned how to be nice to him.

However, I learn God's power in this incident. For so long I'd been praying for the change among the people I work with, since they were not very nice to me. Although I so wanted God to change the situation, He didn't. Instead, He changed my attitude in such situation. And when I'm willing to be changed, the situation soon is changed. God indeed will make a way where there seems to be no way. But before He shows us the way, He wants us to understand why He puts us in such circumstances. God teaches the ones He loves. He loves us and He knows hardships and sufferings are good for us as they refine us like fire.

A Comfort

2006-12-07T00:40:00.000+08:00

This blog is especially dedicated to Iris, my precious sister.

God selects the best and the most notable of His servants for the best and most notable afflictions, for those who have received the most grace from Him are able to endure the most afflictions. In fact, an affliction hits a believer never by chance but by God's divine direction. He does not haphazardly aim His arrows, for each one is on a special mission and touches only the heart for whom it is intended. It is not only the grace of God but also His glory that is revealed when a believer can stand and quietly endure an affliction.

-- Joseph Caryl

If all my days were sunny, could I say,
"In His fair land He wipes all tears away"?

If I were never weary, could I keep
This blessed truth, "He gives His loved ones sleep"?

If no grave were mine, I might come to deem
The Life Eternal but a baseless dream.

My winter, and my tears, and weariness,
Even my grave, may be His way to bless.

I call them ills; yet that can surely be
Nothing but love that shows my Lord to me!

-- Selected

I'm Tired But I'm No Fool

2006-12-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

Had dinner with Emmy after class. It'd been quite a while we hadn't caught up. Was good to talk to an old friend. Old friends do change but the funny stories we had in the past don't change - they're always so funny that crack you up in tears.

Emmy looked so tired and she told me I looked just as tired *haha* She wasn't the first to say that. People keep telling me I looked tired. Well, I guess I must look tired. Actually, I'm pretty tired and RedBull or caffeine doesn't help. Never get enough sleep, or when I do I don't sleep well. People say business world has it's own price, mm... It's quite true.

She told me how some of our old classmates are doing. Some of them are far more full on than us. They work, take part-time jobs and courses. We wondered how much time they have a day. Do they really sleep? I know they are working so hard for money, brands, houses, and blah blah blah, you name it. To be honest, it's not that I don't like luxurious lifestyle but I know that isn't what my life on earth should be after. Because my life in eternity will be luxurious anyway.

When I know what kind of luxury I'll have in the eternity, I don't care about the "so-called" luxury on earth. This life I have on earth only lasts eight years or a bit more (if I'm strong). It's such a short time compared with the eternity. Indeed, time is precious. It's not wise to waste the precious time to persue something that are fading away. The values of knowledge, certificates, property, money, and many other things change as times change. Nothing can last forever; and no one can keep something forever. I like what Jim Eliot said "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." I should spend my life to gain something I can never loose; that is God Himself.

First Time

2006-12-02T11:08:00.000+08:00

Oh man! Got 94 points for my blogpet!! *speechless* Well, wondering who did that... Do I have that many readers of my blog? *can't believe it* Anyway, my day's all lightened up because of the 94 points! *haha* Was being silly. Readers who played with my Fluffie, you guys are so wonderful!

This morning I asked Dean some silly questions again. I always like asking Dean questions about the first times we shared - the first time we met; the first time we had lunch together; the first time we talked on the phone, the first time we told each other "I like you"; to name but a few. They're all sweet memories. It's so touching and exciting when Dean remembers some first times. Usually I remember more than he does. But no matter how good my memory is, I've forgotten some... as I'm only human. God remembers all the first times I shared with Him. He put them in his book well before the beginning of the world.

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."
Psalm 139:16 - NLT

Here are some most unforgetable first times I shared with my Lord:

The first time I - cried before Him
- threw a tandrum to Him
- prayed in a congregation
- testified to friends
- brought firends to church
- prayed for the sick
- fasted
- sang and danced for joy
- and many more...

Being Shaped

2006-11-30T12:44:00.000+08:00

*OOO* Got 60 points for my little Fluffie!! I can get it a new habitat for it now *yay*. But I think I'd better save some more, so that I can have more choices *hehe*. Hey, to people who have played with my blogpet, I thank you guys sooo much! I know I wouldn't have got that many points without your support!

God challenged me so much yesterday. I'd been thinking of leaving the company I'm working at. As I couldn't handle the complicated relationship among my collegues. They gave me so little respect. No matter how much peace I felt in my heart every morning, once I started to work among the guys at the company, I collapsed. For so long I didn't understand why God put me in such situation. This job is God's answering his people's prayers. Before I got the offer, the brothers and sisters in Melbourne had been praying for me getting a job. I was so confused when God's mercy became a torture to me...

Until last night, on the way home, God asked me a question: Why can't you love the people in your workplace? I answered the question with no hesitation: They're horrible people!

"But I love them, and my salvation is for them" He said.

The words hit me so hard that I broke down and finally I understood what God wanted me to learn in this situation. Loving nice or good or lovable people (like my Deany) isn't difficult. But disciples aren't only called to love good people but also bad people. Actually, there're no good people. All people are bad in some ways as we all sin. There're only two kinds of people - saved and not yet saved; forgiven and not yet forgiven. God wants His people to love the unsaved and the unforgiven. Since love drives the saved to preach the gospel to the unsaved.

Now I know this job is really of God's grace. He shapes me through all the hardships, so that I can be a blessing to the world in the coming days.

It's All Good

2006-11-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

Dean and I are loving our new blog pet. We're trying to figure out how to make it super happy so that we can gain some points to buy the little bunny stuff.

Oh, there's one sad news: We won't be able to go to Europe for our honeymoon as the airline didn't allow us to delay the departure date. (It's a long story and I'm not going to tell it all here.) It's such a shame. Anyway, I'm happy as long as I've got Dean with me.

Been off for two days. It's really a blessing from God. Though I was pretty sick, I'd got time to spend with God - reading the bible, listening to sermons, praying and singing hyms. Worshipping God is so norishing and I think it's the dynamic of my life. Working in the business world, I sometimes get distracted by money, success and the glory of man. Worshipping God always reminds me that my life is totally for the manifestation of God's glory. God's glory is best revealed through our weaknesses. As "my power is made perfect in weakness." (2Cor12:9 - ESV) At the place I work, people boast about their strengths. However, "I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2Cor12:9 - ESV)

Understanding

2006-11-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

Back to work today. Was horribly sick that couldn't go to work yesterday. I'm so thankful that Dean came to my house and babysat me the whole day. Actually, Dean hasn't totally recoverd yet he still sacrificed his rest to look after me.

The most unforgettable thing of yesterday is how much Dean understood me. While I was in bed (I was in bed the whole day), I kept moaning how sore my back was, and Dean understood how the pain was since he'd got the same cold just two days ago (Obviously, he spread the cold to me). Dean's understanding isn't second-hand, it's first-hand. Second-hand understanding is gained from seeing, being told, and even traning; on the other hand, first-hand understanding can only be gained from one's own experience. That's why first-hand understanding is always soothing and comforting. It may explain why Jesus had taken the form and life of man.

"For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning."

Hebrews 4:15 (Amplified Bible)

Good News

2006-11-21T12:41:00.000+08:00

Took a day off for looking after Dean yesterday. Just back to the office this morning, one of my collegues told me how horrible it was yesterday, and how much our company lost. Lucky that I didn't come to work. As I don't think I'd be able to bare the burdens. Indeed, all things work together for the ones who love God.

Just then recieved an offer from Pete. He's giving out two tickets to Europe as the present for Dean and I's engagement. Dean thought it could be our honey moon. Wow! Never thought about going to Europe, though I so want some of my relatives there to meet Dean. I'd been expecting to have our honey moon in Pacific countries. Well, if I'm really going to Europe, that means I'd be able to meet my relatives! It'd be too good to be true!!

One Big Day

2006-11-19T19:08:00.000+08:00

This day is filled with mixed feelings - good and bad... I was so excited about today as my family came to the celebration for my graduation. We took heaps of pictures! (As there're too many, I'd only put a few on here.) They even bought me a bunch of gorgeous flowers! Everyone dressed so nicely for me - I felt soo honoured! They all were happy that I finally can be an independent adult as I've got my professional. Mummy was especially happy and was so amazed by how quick time flies.

Unfortunately, Dean got sick... He'd got a sore throat yesterday and the sore throat's brought him fever this afternoon. It was such a pain looking at someone you love suffering. And the limit you have in helping a sick person makes you feel so guilty... But such bad feelings are good as they reveal how much you really love or care about someone.

Dean's been a brave boy the whole day. He was so sick that he could hardly balance himself yet he came to my graduation. He helped me with putting on the gown, holding bags and flowers... Those were no small deeds when he was sick like that. I'm so thankful for Dean and I love him so much.

Dean's helping me to put on the gown.

While waiting for Mummy and Daddy.

*Ooo*

Emmy, my classmate, and I.

Memory - Melbourne - Friends

2006-11-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

Got a message from Amy!! Soo excited!! Oh, why am I so in love with the sisters in Melbourne? We've only known each other for months... But we always talk and be silly like we've known for years. The Melbourne trip is such an unforgettable experience.

It all began at one night when I was spending time with God. I was pretty confused about whether Africa or Australia I should go to (for a short term missionary). I'd prayed about the issue whenever it came up in my mind. But still I couldn't make a decision. I wanted to go to Africa because I felt being called to serve children (I was teaching some kids at that time). And the orphange in Africa was asking for more workers. On the other side, I wanted to go to Australia because I used to live in there for a while. I'd always had some funny feelings towards this country. Though I knew exactly what I'd be doing in Africa, I also wanted to go for Australia...

On that night, after the devotional, I saw a vision - I was having a good time with a group of Chinese around my age. The vision didn't last long. I couldn't even see the faces, but somehow I knew they were in Melbourne...

Later I told my mentor that I was determined to go to Melbourne. She was pretty against this idea, so did my cell group leader. They thought Dean was the reason why I chose Melbourne. I didn't tell them the true reason. It'd sound too weak and gay to them... I held on to the friends I saw in the vision...

Eventually I met them, in Melbourne. They're Amy, Carmen, Kitty, and Connie. They're so different from the friends I have in Hong Kong. I can't explain why, but indeed they're a blessing to me. They're the first group of close christian friends I have after all my former spiritual partners left Christ... I love them, and I never regret the Melbourne trip.

I Trust

2006-11-15T11:34:00.000+08:00

"The righteous shall live by his faith." Habakkuk 2:4 (ESV)

Trust in the power of the Holy Spirit
Trust in God's power
Trust that He is using me
And He will use me more
I am the one He saved with His life
He did not sacrfice His life for a crap

Though Right now I'm weak
This is part of His will
His grace is manifested through my weakness

The changes I long to make are what
He put in my heart through the Holy Spirit
They're His will and
I believe God will perform for His will
He will finish his work

Trust that He will grant me the power
I need to make those changes
I trust in the power of the Holy Spirit
If he can turn a sinner to a righteous
He can transform me
For I know
It's Christ living in me

New Skin; New Resolutions?

2006-11-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

*Yay* Finally got a new blogskin. Have been looking for one for so long. I like this new green skinnie - so refreshing and cute. Feels like this is what I can write some crazy stuff on - haha. Plus, the theme "where is my home?" reminds me of where my home REALLY is.

Right now I'm waiting for the bathroom. My sister's using it... I prefer night shower than morning so that I can sleep in. Oh, I've started to think about my new year resolutions. Some of the wishes I put on last year's have been achieved, like an ipod (eventually I got an ipaq which is way better than an ipod). And some haven't... like I still have the crazy party animal neighbor... Somehow thing's getting better now. He doesn't have parties as often as he used to (thank God !).

For one thing I thank God so much. Last year when I was writing my resolution list I was all by myself; but now I've got Deany standing by me all the time. See how unpredictable life is!! There's not much time left for 2006, but I'm so looking forward to the short time remain! For I know God's gonna do something amazing day by day!

Gemstones

2006-11-06T12:42:00.000+08:00

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28 (NKJ)

I found out that God put Dean and I together not because we get along with each other, but because we're not compatible with each other. And the reason we don't get along is that we're too similar to each other. It's just like when John and James (sons of Zebedee; sons of thunder) come together. How God put people with similar personality together always reminds me how people polish gemstones. One way to polish gemstones is abrasion. The way abrasion gets rid of the roughness of gems is to make use of the roughness of gems or other substance.

Stars & Sand

2006-10-27T16:09:00.000+08:00

Here's a very good essay I'd like to share:

"Those who are of faith are sons of Abraham."
Galatians 3:7 (NKJ)

"Blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore."
Genesis 22:17 (NKJ)

The descendants of Abraham can be devided into two types: (1) stars of the heaven and (2) sand at the seashore. Both stars and sand are derived from rocks or "the rock". However, their statuses and natures are very different. Hung high above the earth, stars belong to the "heaven". Sands, on the other hand, belong to the "earth" as they only sit on the shore. Stars shine in the sky. The darker the sky is the brighter their sparks are. Sand sits on the ground. And when the darkness comes, they become unidentifiable from mud. Stars have their tracks; they follow a determined route. Sand does not follow anything. It is only moved by the unpredictable waves of the ocean or people or animals. Stars can be travellers' guide as they give people direction. Sand can be travellers' troubles as it makes the road steeper. Stars are admired by people, while sand is stepped by people.

Which type of descendants of Abraham are we?

Conflict

2006-10-26T11:15:00.000+08:00

"Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." Matthew 10:16 (NKJ)

The worker I've been talking to finally asked me something about the church. he wanted to know more about the church I go to. I was pretty excited when he said he might be coming to the barbeque of my youth group on the coming Monday! Honestly, it's hopeful! Unfortunately, my boss' assistant found out what I'd been doing and she thought it wasn't right to "preach" at the work place. Well, I haven't preached yet, but to her - all the same. Last night she had a talk with me and everything sounded very negative... She couldn't understand me at all... Ironically, I understand what her worries were. She's a good assistant and she's super loyal to my boss. Everything she's done was for the company's good. my boss trusts and relays on her so much... I haven't talked to my boss yet. I don't know if the assistant has told him or not...

Well, I feel so dumb... I know bringing people to Christ is right. But bringing potential problems to the company is not... God I need your grace and wisdom. How can I win the soul without making the conflict worse?

Confession

2006-10-24T15:43:00.000+08:00

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." - James 5:16 (NKJ)

This morning was a disaster... I struggled with the resentment I had towards a worker in my company. The resentment was very unreasonable because he's been my good help at the work place. He's hard working and very passionate for his job. Most of all, he's got a good impression of christians. I've been planning to bring him to christ. I even got people from my cell group to pray for him.

The resentment popped up just yesterday, and growing stronger and stronger this morning. At worst, no matter what he said and did sounded like humiliation to me. Eventually I said something rude to him... He looked puzzled... and I felt so confused about myself.

During lunch time, when he wasn't around, I called Dean. I confessed my struggle on the phone. Dean comforted me with Romans chapter eight. Immediately, the scripture anchored me in the stormy sea of emotions. My tears kept coming out while I was asking Dean to pray with me. All at a sudden, miracle happened. The resentment that had burdened me for so long went away just like "ding".

Oh, praise to the Lord! For He's my savior for all time. And His promises never fail.

Interior Designer

2006-09-26T10:57:00.000+08:00

Architectural drawing is no easy task for me since I'm not good at maths. But I thank God that my boss's always patient with me. He always tells me "one at a time". By the way, would people believe that a language teacher would be reading and drawing architectural graphics everyday? Many of my friends can't believe what I'm doing now. Oh well, very often God's plan doesn't make sense. The good thing about working in this company is I'll have qualification to apply for interior design courses - something like a diploma or even a degree.

In Hong Kong, interior design is considered a prestigious career. It helps people make their "dreams" come true. Chinese people always gives great values to family or home. (Home and family are one word in Chinese language.) Most of them dream about having a nice home. Apparently home should be a sanctuary where we can find (physical/mental/emotional/spiritual,etc) rest. That's why so many people invest a lot of money in their houses or apartments. To be honest, it would be an honour to me if I could be an interior designer.

Just then, I had a question: Interior designers make other people's homes nice and comfortable, so what kind of home should these interior designers have? Nice and comfortable as well? I've seen a report on the home of a world famous interior designer. His house was gorgeous, luxurious, awesome! It's what I expected actually. But, can a top designer live in a crappy place?
Jesus is the best "interior" designer ever. He's the one who designed the earth, a big big house, for everybody to live. (Isaiah8:30) How nice and beautiful the earth is? Download Google Earth, and look around this planet. You'll know how good Jesus is at "interior" design.

Jesus made a beautiful home for us and his "talent" and ability are undeliable. But what sort of place he lived in when he was on the *earth? The place is called Nazareth where nothing good can come from (John1:46). Why would he live in such crappy place? He chose to. What for? Us.

*The design of beauty and harmony was destroyed by sin.

I Forgive You

2006-09-05T13:59:00.000+08:00

Dear struggler,

I forgive you
I shouldn't have drawn an equal
Between who you are and what you've done
To my husband and me

God never draws an equal
Between who we are and what we've done
He loves us the way we are
He knows how weak we are
Even before we were born
Yet before we were born he started to love us

God persists in his love
No matter how much we hurt him

I forgive you
As I'm told that you always struggle
And I know I struggle just as the way you do
I know how struggles are like
I'm nothing better than you
We all are imperfect human beings with a sinful nature

I forgive you
As we all made mistakes
And we need forgiveness
As well as a second chance

God knows what we need
He never is slow to forgive
And he always gives us second chances

I forgive you
Because God's forgiven you
And me

I forgive you
And I believe God's healing
The wound you left on my heart

I forgive you
Even if you don't want it or
you think you don't need it

I forgive you, and
I want to love you

Love,
Reese

Renew My Mind

2006-09-01T13:39:00.000+08:00

The longer I am in Christ, the more I find myself weak. I can't agree more with what Paul said.

For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Romans 7:18-24 NKJ)

I can't remember how many times I grieved over my struggles - lust and pride (1 John 2:16-17 NKJ). Sometimes I didn't want to confess how horrible I am. So I gave new names for my struggles. I called lust "natural biological desire"; pride - self approval. The euphemism made my sinful desire sound very reasonable and I became tolerant of them. In fact, I was fooling myself with the knowledge of the world. In other words, I was blinding myself from the knowledge of God. As John directly said:

If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. (1 john 2:15 NKJ)

Rejecting God's knowledge is dreadful. In the Book of Hosea, it is written:

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; because you have forgotten the law of your God. (Hosea 4:6 NKJ)

The world lacks the knowledge of God. They see their sinful desire from a perspective that is different from God's. As a servant of God, I should not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2 NKJ)

New Blog

2006-08-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

Soo tired, but soo happy! Finally I've got a "new" blog. Actually this isn't new. I used to use this blog before I started my MSN space. I once was a big MSN fan until Microsoft has dramatically changed the its layout... The new layout's freaked me out. It looks a lot like Xanga but less flexible. I was very annoyed by the space that I don't even wanna blog. So I decided to start up another better blog. It turned out that I turned back to Blogger. I changed the old template, plus I've moved all the whole data (previous entries) here from MSN space. It took time, but I'm happy with my blog now.

Oh, I'm gonna work next week... This is my first full time job. I thank God for giving me this job, and I ask Him to help me handle everything in this job.

Cool Dad

2006-07-12T02:22:00.000+08:00

Almost finish the packing *yay*. Daddy just called a while ago. He told me to be aware of my "shower time". I love having shower. I can spend over an hour in the bathroom. It's a horrible hobbie. Sometimes my family are annoyed about it. Daddy said I'm staying in other people's home so that I need to be considerate. It definately will freak out my host if I spend an hour in bathroom. He asked me to control myself every time I have shower - try to limit the time I spend in hot water. I've promised daddy that I'd do my best to limit my shower time. Make sure I won't be a trouble.

Daddy's a wonderful man. He's very responsible. He loves his wife, son, daughters, and parents. He spends time talking to us even he's always busy. He likes buying us presents. He is friendly and kind. He's got a lot of friends. They all think daddy's a nice guy. Daddy always has respect for others, even the poor. He donates money to charities. I'm very proud of my daddy. Once my aunt (mummy's sister) said it's mummy's luck to have daddy *hehe*.

Sometimes, daddy and I have different opinion of certain issues. He doesn't always agree to what I said or did. But I know daddy still loves me the same. Because I'm his daughter. I love my daddy.

Sleepy... Dizzy...

2006-07-11T14:37:00.000+08:00

Dean should be in Melbourne right now. And me, going there tomorrow. Have been so busy with packing. So sleepy now... Can't write much. Just want to thank God for Bronze's advice about handling the customs. I know she's been praying for me. I love her. I hope I won't get "busted" by the customs. They can be a real pain on my neck...

Wondering what I'd experience in Melbourne. I've been to Perth six years ago. But Dean kept saying perth's just a hole. Melbourne's a lot different. Well, to me Australia is Australia; but to a local Australian like Dean, Perth is Perth, Melbourne is Melbourne. I know I'm going to meet some nice people and see some nice places/things. Most of all, I'm gonna see what God's prepared for me.

Oh, everybody's calling me these days - Sandy, Daniel, Josephine, Yanki, Harmony, etc... They're going to miss me... *Aww* Emmy and Jenny had a nice lunch with me. Kowkchee gave me two Columbia sports wear cupons, just in case I need to buy some big coats for the trip. Big Uncle and Lung asked about the time of the flight... They wanted to go to the airport with me (maybe)... *Aww* They're soo sweet! Some of them even asked me out just to pray for my trip.

I love you guys. you all are the best people I've ever met!! I'm soo thankful for you.

$$$

2006-07-09T15:18:00.000+08:00

Dean's coming back tomorrow *yay*! Before Dean went to Vietnam, I told him that I didn't want him to go... And he said "but you can spend more time with God". He was right. I had much time with God these few days. Maybe I was less distracted (Dean is so attractive that he can be very distracting sometimes...), God spoke to me a lot. He brought up many big issues like the use of money, concept of commitment, and self image/identity.

I think the most full on part is the use of money. Recently, I'm having problems with it. Sometimes when I was walking on streets and saw some "pretty" girls, I looked at their faces, hair, and their outfits. I was tempted to dress myself up like them... Because I know that's not difficult - these girls are only made of nice hair styles, cosmetic, and fashionable clothes. But hey, that's a trap! - a money trap. Once you start "investing" money in your appearance, you can't stop! You'll just spend more and more money to maintain the good look. I've experienced that at teens. I was even in debt!

Jesus said "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21)". In Chinese translation, treasure also means money. So if I spend much money on good looks, my heart are in the good looks. Is it alright? Well, the bible tells us that "charm is deceitful and beauty is passing (Proverbs 31:30)". No matter how much we spend, beauty doesn't last (just look at Elizabath Tylor). Why should we place our heart in something doesn't last when we know there is something which lasts forever? It's God's kingdom. His kingdom lasts forever. That's the only place my heart should be, and so should my money.

Question

2006-07-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

Where does jealousy come from?

Sense of insecurity?
Desire for attention?
Fear of loosing speciality?
Pride?
Low self-esteem?
Blind to the truth?
Lack of faith?
Foolishness?

God Made Us So Different

2006-07-07T13:36:00.000+08:00

Saw an old friend on television. She was only in two scenes, and she didn't have anything to say. She was a hip-hop dancer in the show; and she's a hip-hop dancer in real life. She was a very close friend of mine in grade school. She brought me to every party she went. She liked sharing her wardrobe with me. She wanted me to wear what she wore. We sat together in class and had the same set meals after class. People in school called us "twins". I used to think we'd always be together... But then she moved to another school since she never did well in exams. After that, we caught up occasinally. But it didn't last as she met some "cooler" friends.

It makes me smile when thinking of the good hay days. It was good to see her on television. She'd always dreamed about being an artist in showbiz. And now she's doing what she dreamed of. In Hong Kong, many people stereotype hip-hop/break dance dancers as rebellious young people with lower intelligence. Dancing is another way for the "brainless" to make their living. I don't share this point of view. I do think being good at dancing is talented.

Well, it's funny to see how different we are now. Once we were two silly girls sitting side by side in a classroom. We had a lot in common: hair style, outfits, taste for food, favorite pop songs and singers, and secrets... Now, one is a teacher who has a modest image and likes no pop song and singer. Another is a trendy dancer who likes... I don't know *haha*... But sure we no longer share our secrets.

I Love God

2006-07-06T14:49:00.000+08:00

I love God
Yes I love Him, very much
I know I can use so many sophisticated language features
to tell Him how much I feel for Him
But I just want to be blunt before Him

I love Him
Because he made me
The one who deserves everything He has
He loves me
From inside out
He saved me
Everytime I was in darkness
He takes good care of me
Even for the smallest deeds in my life
He provides everything I need
Physical, emotional, and spiritual
He never gives up on me
For I'm His

I love God
Yes I love Him, very much
Language can never enough to express
the way I feel for Him
It's so "primitive"
And I'm totally blown away

I love God
If people think it's dumb
Then I'm dumb
I love God

Lover Boy

2006-07-05T14:11:00.000+08:00

Another night without Dean, Iris and Karen... Dean needs to stay in China for these few days; no time for Reese. Iris and Karen went to Europe for their vacation. So, I'm all alone... I'd always thought the house i'm living with my sisiters is too small. It's especially true when Dean came and stayed over night. Never knew it's such a big house... I've been looking at my photo albums in my computer. And I found some good pictures that are never been "released". I put my favorite one here.

Little Thoughts

2006-07-04T13:00:00.000+08:00

Cleaning up the notes I studied in the degree program. I don't need them anymore so I can just throw them in the bin. But when I looked at them, I thought about how I'd gone through them. It was quite a lot of hard work. I can't believe I've gone through the whole degree program. I still remember how much I struggled in my first two years. It was tough. I was put in a program that I wasn't really capable to cope. The worse is I used to be a top student in high school. I'd always thought I could be on the top when I give all myself to it. However the fact is, it is not the case when it comes to languages. So many times, I doubted myself and God. I cried and complained. I was just like a silly kid throwing tantrum before her father. And now I'm all over it. How unbelievable is that! It's all God's grace.

Looking back, I wouldn't have met Dean if I wasn't in that degree program. And I wouldn't be able to communicate with him if I didn't study in this program. Most of all, I wouldn't have known how "nothing" I am if I didn't meet the elite students in my class. I learned there's nothing I can boast about myself. I thank God for showing me who I really am. So I can see who I am in Jesus Christ.

I'm still learning to see myself from God's perspective. It's not easy. We all have learned who we are from what people told us. We tend to believe what we are told. When I was a kid, many relatives and friends told me my eyes are too small, my skin is too tanned, my figure is too "flat". To me, that means ugly. I don't remember for how long I believed I was an ugly girl. But I remember how hard I tried to look better at my teens. I put on nice expensive clothes; wore much make-up... I never knew my beauty until Jesus came to my life.

People set up thousands of standards for beauty - what looks good, and what doesn't. They set up a "model" of beauty, and most of us think it's alright and copy the model. But how come it's alright when so many people become sad and frustrated when they can't become like the model? Sometimes they dislike themselves just because they don't look like the model. Some people even go under the knife for being like the model they admire. Why do some people want to look like someone else when God made them so unique and special? Doesn't being unigue and special feel good?

I'm not sure what God thinks about the beauty standard or model the world has set up. But one thing I'm sure is that God makes no mediocre.

Miracle

2006-06-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

It's very hard to believe that I have my folder back!! I lost it at train station ten days ago. I had the staff at the station to help but they couldn't find it. I was so hopeless that I thought I would never see it again. And I'd buy Pete his dvd and pay the library for the lost books. During the past ten days, I sometimes asked God why did he let such a "tragedy" happen. My budget for the Australia trip is already tight, and then I had to pay the extra money. Everytime when I had such thought, the Holy spirit comforted me and reminded me that everything is still in God's control and everything happens for His purpose. I thank God for sending the comforter so that I can always rejoice in His love through circumstances.

Never had I imagined I'd have the folder in my hands again. Last Saturday, when Doug, Pete, Jason, Dean and I are heading to the waterfall, a librarian called and told me to pick up my folder. Someone had taken the folder to the Shatin public library. I'm a hundred percent sure that I had never been to Shatin public library. And today's the first time I went there (took me a while to find it...). I asked the librarian who brought the folder there. He didn't know... Actually, it doesn't really matter. What matters is I have my folder back!!

On the way home, I thought about what God wants me to learn in this experience... God is an awesome God. Nothing is impossible in Him. He listens and answers our prayers (A few brothers and sisters had prayed for me). He reveals his love and power in His time. My experience reminds me the story of Lazarus. Jesus came late and everybody was hopeless. However He taught us not to underestimate God's power from human's perspective...

I bless His name.

I'm Back

2006-06-23T15:03:00.000+08:00

Finally I'm home! Home sweet home! Had been staying at Dean's place for a while. Well I love being around people; people are always so much fun. But it's good to be alone sometimes. Haven't had dinner with mummy, daddy, Iris, Sean and Karen yet. I had a cheap dinner with Dean in China before I go home. Anyway, I'm looking forward to having dinner with the whole family tomorrow night.

My back is so sore... Had been helping Dean do the packing for three days. Hope it'll get well soon. I like working with Dean. You learn so much about a person when you see the way he works, especially of the attitutude toward their duty or responsibility. I'm very proud of Dean. He's very loyal to his duty.

Can't write anymore though I want to... So tired and sleepy. Having a lesson with Sarotta tomorrow. She's the talented Kid Dean likes so much. Dean's not going with me as he needs to work the whole day at the office... Hope she won't be too disappointed.

They Learned; I Learned

2006-06-23T02:59:00.000+08:00

Had lots of fun with my students today. There was a new guy in my class. His name's Mahlu. Mahlu's an pure african, a very Chinese african. He speaks English and Chinese (Cantonese and Mangarin), but his Chinese's far more better than his English. His parents are very obsessed with China. They spent most of their holidays in China. Actually I was a bit shocked when I first saw Mahlu because he's black. I wasn't being a racist, just he's the first black student I've ever had. Black people aren't common in Hong Kong. Most of these black people are not rich as they usually make money by selling their strength. Obviously, Mahlu is an exception - he's a rich kid; his parents are rich. He lives in a very nice place; and he goes to a so called "noble" kinder-garten where my students go to.

I always learn something from my students. Today I learned two things. First, kids learn more than you think through games. Second, must read bible stories to my own kids. After class, I played "Reese says (or Simon says)" with the kids. Everybody knows the rules of "Reese/Simon says" - you do what Simon says. Most kids like this game. However, Sarotta didn't like it. She didn't want to follow what I say so she suggested that everyone should do what they want to do. Then Mahlu said games wouldn't be funny without rules. That is soo true! And deep! During the class I read the kids a story about tooth-fairy. Tooth fairy is a fairy who collects children's fallen milk teeth. Personally I don't believe there's such a creation called fairy. But I still wanted to know what my students think. I asked them if they believe there are fairies. Mahlu believed it with no doubts. He said he hadn't seen one yet but he knew they would come to him when he's asleep. This is cute and it shows that kids believe what they are told.

Confused

2006-06-20T01:42:00.000+08:00

Had a great time with Dean in the Philipino fellowship. Lots of fun; lots of laughters. Dean was very sleepy on the way home. He's still recovering from the cold. He was so sleepy that he crashed into my bed once we got home. While he was asleep, I sat beside him and looked at his sleeping face. Calm and peaceful. I was so amazed by the way God made his face look so right - the hair, forehead, eyebrows, eyes, lashes, nose, lips, cheeks, jaws and beard. He's an angel.

Dean, I'm so confused. What is love? I told you so many times that I love you, and I did mean it. But how could I hurt you so many times when I truly love you? How did love bring us so much tears and sorrows? I don't understand.

Questions

2006-06-20T01:35:00.000+08:00

God
How do you bless the people you love?
Do you bless them with tears and sorrows?
How can tears and sorrows turn into blessings?
Will I ever understand why?

Praise God!

2006-06-16T14:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord, blessed be your name. I thank you so much for healing Dean, in such a short time. I'm still amazed that his fever can go in 3 hours time. I'm sure that's the power of our God almighty and His children's prayers. Dean wasn't even able to walk around two. His temperature was about 101'F. About two hours later, he was able to chat with me and smile at me. His temperature went down to about 99'F. Around five, he and I went to the post office to send her sister a dvd. After that he even went to the market with me and Pete; it was an one-hour walk. It was such a blessing to see Dean being Dean again. That was the time I realized how cute and charming Dean usually is *smile*.

Well, still haven't heard from the custom service at the train station. But it no longer bothers me. Of course I still want to have it back. But today I got more than what I lost. I lost what I can buy with money; I earn what money can't buy. They are love and mercy from God and my friends. My dear friends, I thank you so much for leaving me encouraging messages. I appreciate them so much as they mean a lot to me. I cried a bit when I was reading them (I'm such an emotional person). I so thankful for you guys - I love you.

A Messed-up Morning

2006-06-15T16:39:00.000+08:00

This morning was a nightmare. I was almost an hour late for work. When I was rushing to the lesson, the parent called and told me not to come. At that time I was nearly there. So I tried asking the parent to let me teach at least half an hour for the transportation fee is not cheap. But she said she'd see me next week. Then I took a train to go back to Dean's place to work on another student's worksheets. Unfortunately I got the wrong train. So I got off and caught the right train. Finally I arrived Sheung Shui with the right train. But when I was getting off the train and looking for the folder keeping all my teaching materials (Worksheets, Pete's dvd, and two books borrowed from a local public library), I recognized I'd lost it, at nowhere! I could't remember where I put it. It could be on the wrong train or at the platforms. I had no idea where the folder was. I went to the custom service center at the train station and asked for help. They were very helpful. However, they couldn't find my folder... God may you bring the folder back to me and keep my job as I work for Dean and the short mission trip to Australia.

Dean's still very sick. The fever hasn't gone yet. I'm so worried... There's no one around. Pete's gone to China. Doug and Jason won't show up until this evening (I guess). The mission team from New Zealand are still having a rest. They are exhausted after the long flight. No one is able to take care of Dean. Dean's sleeping right now. And if his condition doesn't get any better after two or three hours time. I'll have to take him to a doctor. I originally am having a lesson at five. But I just cancelled it because Dean needs me to take care of him. God, please give me the love and strength to take care of Dean, and please heal Dean.

God I praise that your love and grace are still the same through all circumstances.

His Way

2006-06-15T02:07:00.000+08:00

TEARS SORROWS QUESTIONS

All for God's glory

For you, O God, tested us;
You refined us like silver.
You brought us into prison
And laid burdens on our backs.

You let men ride over our heads;
We went through fire and water,

But you brought us to a place of abundance.

(Psalm 66: 10-12)

I've had many tears and sorrows
I've had questions for tomorrow
There've been times I didn't know right from wrong
But in every situation
God gave blessed consolation
That my trials only come to make me strong

I've been a lot of places
And I've seen so many faces
But there've been times I've felt so all alone
But in that lonely hour
In that precious, lonely hour
Jesus let me know I was His own

Through it all
Through it all
I've learned to trust in Jesus
I've learned to trust in God
Through it all
Through it all
I've learned to depend upon His Word

So I thank God for the mountains
And I thank Him for the valleys
I thank Him for the storms He's brought me through
Cause if I never had a problem
I wouldn't know that He could solve them
I wouldn't know what faith in His Word could do

Through it all
Through it all
I've learned to trust in Jesus
I've learned to trust in God
Through it all
Through it all
I've learned to depend upon His Word
Yes, I've learned to depend upon His Word
I've learned to depend upon His Word

(Selah)

He's Chosen Me

2006-06-13T02:36:00.000+08:00

I love Jehovah
Because He's chosen me
To be His lover
His representative
His heir

Once I was
Dust in the wind
Worm in the earth
Yet He put his robe on my shoulders
Covered all my shame
He put his ring around my finger
Brought back my dignity and glory

I love Jehovah
Because He's chosen me
When He knows every mistake I'd made
And will make
He knows I'd defile His robe and ring
Yet He never forsakes His chosen one
For His son has come and died for
Every mistake I've made and will made in my life

Listen

2006-06-10T14:41:00.000+08:00

Nothing is better than being with God alone
He always listens
No matter what I say
He always knows what are really inside my words
He knows me and
He is patient with me

God, I'm so tired of being a listener
I want to be listened
I want someone to think about what I'm really saying
And what I really mean
God, you know I've cried so many times
For having no one to listen to me
I've been trying my best to be a good listener
Because I want to be listened
But why?
Why no one is listening?
They only talk!
Maybe they don't have enough listeners around them
Although I'm happy to be a listener
I want to be listened
At least sometimes

Nothing is better than being with you God
You always listen
No matter what I say
You always know what are really inside my words
You know me and
You are patient with me

Only Temporary

2006-06-06T14:20:00.000+08:00

Dean couldn't come to my teaching today. He had a meeting with some church leaders. I was a little bit disappointed and Gordon was very very disappointed. He didn't smile and say "Hello miss Reese" until his mum told him to do so. The first sentence he uttered is "Where is Mr. Dean?" "He can't come 'cause he's at work" I practiced this answer a few times on the bus. I knew Gordon would ask. Then he asked "Will he come next time?". Gordon's cute. Little Gordon didn't concentrate on today's lesson. Maybe he missed Dean too much *haha*. His mum and I joked about that after the lesson.

Gordon lives in an area where rich people live. There're many nice houses in that area. On the way back, I looked at those houses and thought it would be so good to live in a house like that. I don't think I'd ever become rich enough to live in those houses, but I know I'll have a house a hundred or even a thousand times nicer than those houses. The house is the wedding gift my heavenly Father has prepared for me. He will give me the key of the house on the day of wedding of me and His Son. All my properties are in eternity. Things we can see don't last; only things we can't see last forever.

Family Night

2006-06-05T13:08:00.000+08:00

So bad that I can't have BBQ with Dean and the Autumn Rain guys... I so wanted to come but I didn't want to bug my mum with another night eating out. Plus I want to spend more time with my family. I love hanging out with Dean and his teammates but I want to show my family, especially mummy, how much I care for them. Talked to my brother Sean after dinner. Never had I recognized Sean's a man now. He's thinking of getting a full time job and renting a flat for his own. Sean's no more the little kiddo I knew. He's much more mature now. I'm so proud of him. Didn't talk much to mum and dad (too much talk with Sean), but still I'm happy I could have dinner with them. I love my family - all of them are lovely people. I'm a horrible person yet I've got a wonderful family that all of my friends envy of *smile*. I'm so blessed.

Oh Dean and I were trying to get my daddy an English name. You know, almost everyone's got an English name in Hong Kong. My mum's got one too - Jane. My dad still hasn't got one. So I asked Dean to help. Dean wasn't helpful this time. He kept giving me names that are so not my dad, for example, Max... Anyway, we still haven't got a nice one... Want to show dad his English name on the fathers' day, *hehe* and see his reaction.

I got Dean's parents' message on my blog again. This is such an honour to me. I'm not a good writer but still they read my words. How nice they are. I want to thank them here - for reading my blog, and for Dean. Dean is a "best" kid a parent can have *smile*.

Sleepy

2006-06-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

So tired; I felt asleep on the bus on the way home. Didn't have enough sleep last night and had to work early in the morning. I like having Dean as my teaching assistant. He's helpful especially when I'm sleepy and tired. I also like watching him playing with Gordon. Gordon likes Dean a lot. He listened to him, told him many of his stories, and showed him all his toys. Dean had an arm wrestle with Gordon. They had so much fun. Dean let the little boy win a few times so that the boy thinks he's capable to play the game. Watching Dean and Gordon always makes me smile. It's kind of sweet. I personally think Dean will make a good dad. Gordon's daddy doesn't play with Gordon often and Gordon doesn't have any sibling. So you can imagine he can get quite bored sometimes... I'm quite happy that Gordon and Dean get along with each other. Gordon even asked if Dean's coming next time. Gordon's cute and so is Dean. Dean got pretty excited when I told what Gordon said. Dean's such a big kid.

I didn't have time for devotional today... It's a shame. But God let me experience his love and mercy by placing nice people around me. My life's a lot different with them. I feel so blessed. Oh, went to China with Dean and Pete today. We all got through! I thank God for listening to our prayers. God's always good.

In This Place

2006-06-01T03:06:00.000+08:00

Forever I want to stay in this place
Your sanctuary
My refuge, my rest, my home
Never will I look for other places
For I have you here with me
What else do I want?
You are all I need for all my life
You are the way, the truth, and the life
You alone can feed all my needs
Here I find the peace the world can never gives
Here around your throne
I sing, I dance, I laugh, I sweat
In joy
For your glorious love

Something New; Something Old

2006-05-31T14:53:00.000+08:00

Finally I changed the layout of my blog. I'd been thinking of doing it since April. I get bored with my blog's appearance very easily. Maybe I blog too often. Well, actually I've started to blog less often since May. First I was busy with my study and now I'm busy with my job and and hanging around with Dean and sometimes guys from Autumn Rain. I'm always bad at organizing schedule. But now I'm trying to get everything back on their tracks. I hope I can develop a better time table before I go to Australia.

I was thinking about my cell group leaders... and I sighed. I love them and so do they. They care about me very much and so do I. But we never get to know each other well. Sometimes I think they misunderstand me for most of the time... They know a little bit of me and Dean. They thought I needed their help or counselling when they found it out. They think I must be messing up if I go out with a guy from a church they don't quite agree to... I'm so tired of it... I don't want to judge anybody since I know I'm dumb. There're times I don't know right from wrong... The only thing I know is God's faithful; he doesn't let things happen for nothing.

Be Simple

2006-05-14T13:59:00.000+08:00

My beloved, all I want is
Adore You in simplicity
Smile at You in simplicity
Talk to You in simplicity
Hug You in simplicity
Kiss You in simplicity
Sing to You in simplicity
Do what You tell me to in simplicity
Think of You in simplicity
Thank You in simplicity

On the Bus

2006-05-12T02:27:00.000+08:00

I asked myself...
How does it come to this plight?
What went wrong?
Me or him?
Wasn't I in love with him
For the first time
I talked to him on phone
I wrote him a poem
I looked into his eyes
I saw his smile
I touched his hair
I put my arms around his shoulders
I placed my lips on his
I told him I wanted to love him well
I cried before him...
All these moment...
Have I forgotten them?
Could I ever forget them?
Could I?
...
I'm still in love with him
Love never fails
When there's will to try
I will try

A Mystery

2006-05-11T14:54:00.000+08:00

I always wonder
How these two hearts can come together...

How they can share each other
And can learn each other

How they can despise each other
And can admire each other

How they can hurt each other
And can comfort each other

How they can doubt each other
And can trust each other

How they can turn down each other
And can encourage each other

How they can demand each other
And can satisfy each other

How they can hold against each other
And can forgive each other

How they can depend on each other
And can endure for each other

How they can love each other
And can sacrifice for each other

Lovely

2006-04-23T14:18:00.000+08:00

You're the sweet dreams that soothe me
When I can't fall asleep
You're the field in the middle of the city
When I'm rushing by
At the speed of light

You're the strong resolution
When I find no peace
You're the church bells ringing in the evening
When all is quiet
Your whisper comforts
Lifts my heart
I get so weak

Oh, You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A thousand times
I look around me and I find
You're lovely
You're the center of my universe
A million ways cannot explain
You're lovely

You're the soft words that touch me
When I just can't speak
You're the breeze on the ocean
In the morning
Reminding me to greet the day

You're the flowers I remember seeing in Italy
Colors through a golden haze
Bright and radiant
Soft and fragrant
In the noon day sun
It makes me sing

You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A thousand times
I look around me and I find
You're lovely
A million wayscannot explain
You're lovely

I understand
There may be grief
And there may be pain
But I am awareYou blind the darkness
With who You are
Because

You're lovely
You're the center of my universe
A thousand times
I look around me and I find
You're lovely
A million ways
Cannot explain
You're lovely

* Originally by Michelle Tumes

A Letter

2006-04-11T12:40:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

We read and talked about your letter today
We loved it
We got blown away
We sat under the trees
Lied on the sun-spotted ground
It was a bit hot
But, thanks for the occasional breeze
They brought us some vulnerable greenish leaves of spring
It was a bit ticklish when the leaves glided across my neck
He didn't notice the naughty leaves
He was so concentrating on the reading
He read every Word out loud
Put nice innonation and stress in the lines
I lingered on the Words...
Soon he got tired of the reading
He looked upon me for a kiss
I kissed him on cheek and lips
Dear, thank you for writing a letter to us
So that we know how much you love and miss us
There were something in the letter we didn't understand
We talked about the confusing points for a while
And still, we haven't understood them all
We thought that was ok
We love your Words anyway
Soon we will understand when we meet
Soon
May you come soon

Love,
Reese

Gift

2006-04-10T08:14:00.000+08:00

It's not the flowers, wrapped in fancy paper. It's not the ring, I wear around my finger. There's nothing in all the world I need. When I have you here beside me, here beside me. So you could give me wings to fly. And catch me if I fall. Or pull the stars down from the sky. So I could wish on them all. But I couldn't ask for more'Cause your love is the greatest gift of all. In your arms, I found a strength inside me. And in your eyes, there's a light to guide me. I would be lost without you. And all that my heart could ever want has come true. So you could give me wings to flyAnd catch me if I fall. Or pull the stars down from the sky. SoI could wish on them all. But I couldn't ask for more'Cause your love is the greatest gift of all. You could offer me the sun, the moon. And I would still believe. You gave me everything. When you gave your heart to me. But I couldn't ask for more'Cause your love is the greatest gift of all. You could give me wings to fly. And catch me if I fall. Or pull the stars down from the sky. So I could wish on them all. But I couldn't ask for more'Cause your love is the greatest gift of all. Your love is the greatest gift of allGreatest gift of all.

A Breath

2006-04-08T09:01:00.000+08:00

Finally have some little time to write something. Have been crazy busy with study and not able to write here... At the moment I'm waiting for Liza. We'll go window-shopping after she finish her speaking test. I've just done mine. I read a short story about a little girl, a poem so philosophy, and talked about the university system in Hong Kong. I think I was ok... I was super sleepy-sweepy at that time... Anyway, it's finished! *yay* Oh, suddenly have got an inspiration...

Don't want to give up
And I won't
Because I love him
And I love Him

He showed me what love is
And how to love
He never gives up on me
Never ever
How easy would it be for Him to give up?
But He never does it
He loves me
And His love for me is real
Real love lasts and endures
I'd never know what love really is
Without Him

Now I'm to love him
I won't give up
I will hold on
Whatever it takes
I don't give up without a try, a fight
That's what He taught me

People may say I'm stubborn
Yes, I'm stubborn, very stubborn
But love is stubborn
Because He is stubborn about love

Dean & Suzanne

2006-03-30T04:20:00.000+08:00

I love Dean and Suzanne. They are two very precious gifts from God. They are beautiful. They made me smile and feel so blessed. Both of them are from "denominations" my church doesn't agree with. People in my church may even tell me to get away from them. But I love them. They are the ones who were there for me when I was bewildered. They were there. They sat beside me and listened to me, without giving their "wisdom", which I didn't really need. They showed me kindness, tender and love. They wept with me. They prayed for me. They showed me who our God really is. They make me love God more. That is all I need.

Don't know why God placed them around me. Sometimes, the differences between us did bother me. But, I don't have to know all the answers. The only answers I need to know is that - We belong to the same body, and God placed them in my life because He loves me. I love you God.

Love-hate Relationship

2006-03-28T11:41:00.000+08:00

A Reflection on 8 comic book images
by Dean Lewis

Late nights aren't always a common place thing, however last night this was certainly the case. The buzzing of the alarm is never a welcome sound, especially on this occasion when the snooze function is the most blessed thing known to mankind. I can now imagine the eyes lighting up when the first person thought of adding this function which I have a love hate relationship with, especially after a few minutes which seem like forever. I awoke from the other end of the bed a mess which I rectified after much showering, brushing of the hair and teeth.
Finally! Off to school, I am sure today the rest of my day will reflect even more love hate instances for me to ponder upon, maybe one day I will tell you about it, but as for now me and my curly long girlie hair are busy looking at the hottest boy in my grade. I wonder if my next late night will be on the phone to him; he better give me his phone number or I will die.

Writing Task II

2006-03-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

For those who have written the passage for me, I thank you. You guys are such a blessing to me. The second thing I want you to do is (1) compare the passage you've written with a passage written by an English native speaker (Aussie mate - Pete! *cool*). Then (2) answer the questions following Pete's writing. Email your answers to me at reese_ym@hotmail.com. Those who have written the short essay must help, else my research can't be finished... Again, thanks for helping. I LOVE u guys.

Pete's essay

Once as the sun started to arise, a little girl slept in a little bed in a little house. Her little alarm clock started to sing "bring bring". It ran as she started to stir. Quickly she moved her foot to the clock and turned it off. See she had been up all last night playing playstation with her friends. Then something amazing happened. The alarm clock moved out its arm and tickled her on her feet. Suddenly she was awake and bolted up in a fright and sprung out of bed to clean her teeth and brush her hair. The she was off to work for another day of fun.

Questions to answer after comparing the writing

1. What Differences have you seen in two writing? (For example: content, vocabulary, sentence structure, style, etc.)

2. Do you want to learn the differences you found out? Yes/No? Why or why not?

3. Will you use what you’ve learnt in your writing in the future? Yes/No? Why or why not?

4. Do you think reading a native’s writing helps improving writing English? Yes/No? Why/Why not?

A Joke

2006-03-24T18:19:00.000+08:00

It wasn't supposed to be a joke... but everyone laughed when they heard it. It's a writing exercise for drama in my creative writing class. The question's: Every couple fights. Free write about an argument that your parents (or anyone else) have quite frequently. Then radically shorten the argument to just three staements from mom and dad. Then write a short drama in which the characters talk about other things and as the conversation builds weave in the statements from mom and dad. I worked on it with Vincent, who's my classmate. Here's what we've got eventually. (Sorry for the foul language. The language is used for authenticity.)

M=Mom; D=Dad; S=Son

M: Oh, honey. It's the time to gimme the money for this month.
D: Can I give it to you later? It's just the 20th of January.
M: I know it's the 20th of January, and you recieve your salary today.
D: Is it necessary to be that quick?
M: You'll use it all up for gamblin' if I ask later!
D: Bull shit! How' bout you bitch? You play Mahjong every day and loose most of the money I give you!
M: You bastard! You never give enough! If you give enough, do I need to play Mahjong to make the money I need?
D: Bastard? Did you call me bastard? Hey son. Look, this is your mother. She called your father a bastard!
S: *Crying*

Don't know why everyone laughed when I and Vincent acted it out (They didn't laugh at the others...). I read it to Dean. He laughed a bit and asked if my parents did argue like that. Well, they don't. Vincent and I just made it up... Just wonder if that's really the case in some families. You never know.

Mustard Tree

2006-03-24T10:22:00.000+08:00

We are the big mustard tree
Despite the fact that
The birds of the air come and nest in our branches
We are the big mustard tree
The Gardener has planted
With love and care
Day by day
He showers the soil with spring water
Nourishes the roots with finest manure
Pulls out the overgrown weeds
He grows us
He loves us
We are His big mustard tree

Get Up

2006-03-23T16:03:00.000+08:00

Get up by Superchick's my favorite now. It tells of how I feel lately. Have been thinking that a Christian should have a bit of guts...

I'm not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you don't try
Not afraid to fall
I might just learn to fly
And I will spread these wings of mine

If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
We get up anyway
If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again

And we'll, just jump and see
Even if it's the twentieth time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

I'm not afraid to fall
And here I told you so
Don't want to rock the boat
But I just had to know
Just a greener side
Or can I touch the sky
But either way I will try

If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
We get up anyway
If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again

And I might fall back down again
And well, just jump and see
Even if it's the thirtieth time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

I'm not afraid to fall
I've fallen many times
They laughed when I fell down
But I have dared to climb
I'm not afraid to fall
I know I'll fall again
But I can win this in the end

If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
We get up anyway
If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again

And I might fall back down again
And well, just jump and see
Even if it's the fortieth time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
We get up anyway
If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again

Writing Task

2006-03-21T03:56:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, I thank God for your visit. You probably have heard about my final year project (FYP). If not, I tell you - It's about English composition. It sounds so "not my thing" to you.*well, I understand... * But I hope you guys can offer a little help to your desperate friend. *Ya, that's ME!* How could you help? That's easy. Just write me a passage based on the pictures below. The passage can be either short or long. Write as much as you feel like. I'll appreciate every word you write. You may now start your writing on the "Add a comment" page of this blog/entry. You can also send me your work as an email (My address's reese_ym@hotmail.com). *Any way you feel comfortable with.* Your writing will be the data I need to complete my FYP. Guys, please do your best to help. I'm so thankful that I have you around in my life. Love yall!

P.S. Send me emails or call my mobile if you have questions.

A Burnt Offering

2006-03-18T14:48:00.000+08:00

The Lord wanted a whole burnt offering
I was not whole
I was a blemish turtledove
However
The priest -- Melchizedek
Sprinkled the blood on me
I then was made whole
And could be a burnt offering
Burnt on the alter of holiness
The fire burned me into ashes
God took me wholly
I was a burnt sacrifice
An offering made by fire
A sweet aroma to the Lord

Revelation 1:8

2006-03-16T05:16:00.000+08:00

Running

2006-03-15T11:14:00.000+08:00

Missing running a lot... thinking about joining Dean's training. They do running, gym and swimming. Well I can't swim, so I think I can only join running and gym. Emmy and Liza will probably object my idea... But, I feel like running very much, plus my back's getting better these few days. I wanna go back to those good old days; I wanna be fit again. Dean said I'm fit but I know I'm not. And my legs are so pale now - I gotta tan them. All my girlies wannna look white and pale... Man, it's just not my thing.

Oh, Told Iris I wanted to break up with him this morning... It'd been too hard for me to carry on... I could bare it no more... My conscience and others' objection... I was in the middle and torn... Iris asked me a very challenging question - "Do you really love him?" It took me a while to answer the question.

I know I love him - I no longer check out good-looking models on billbroads, tv and magazines, since I've got a crush on him... *blush* I wanna take care of him. I wanna see him smile. I want him to be happy. I love him. Why would I wanna leave him then? I thought the idea will benefit both of us... I was wrong. I was only being selfish - I just wanted to be "comfortable"; I was only being lazy - I just don't wanna deal with the problems. Is real love meant to be selfish and lazy? Certainly not! How stupid I was... How can I give him up just because the situation's hard? God loves us through all types of circumstances. I love since God loves me first. I should learn how to love from God. I don't give up because of situations.

Love is just like running a marathon, endurance is needed.

Declare a New Beginning

2006-03-14T06:14:00.000+08:00

I had given away too much,
but I don't give up.
The beauty of Christianity is that
sins are forgiven and erased (1 John 1:9).
I can start over today.

I Love Him

2006-03-13T15:22:00.000+08:00

I can't lie to myself
I love him
More than I realize
He's always on my mind
I always reminisce the way
He looks at me
He talks
He smiles
He laughs
He walks...
Everything is sweet

She keeps telling me to leave him
No, I won't
I love him
Sure we have problems, but
I love him
I can't separate myself from him
I'll never want to hurt him
I want to be his blessing...

Pray

2006-03-11T13:48:00.000+08:00

Thinking through
Don't know what to do
Searching every angle and point of view
Good advice, well rehearsed
Only seems to make matters worse
At a dead end
Don't know where to go

Pray

When the road is steep
Pray

When hope gets weak
Know God hears through

The silence and the tears
The deepest sighs of the heart
Are heard
God hears

And his heart is touched

Bilingual

2006-03-10T09:52:00.000+08:00

Doing a research about bilingualism. Well, it's quite funny that Hong Kong looks like a bilingual city. You'll know by just looking at the street signs and the food packages; listening to the transportation announcements. Everything's in Chinese as well as English. We Hong Kong people live in a very bilingual enviornment. But most of us are not really bilingual, which is pretty ironic.

Most Hong Kong people have difficulties with using English, especially with speaking and listening. Our reading and writing are okay. I can tell because we read textbooks written in English; write assignments in English.

Now our government's promoting English learning (Despite the fact that we need Putonghua more than any languages). There's a commercial my aussie mates find funny. There's an English speaking guy asking for something in a shop. The shop keeper doesn't speak nor understand English, so that the English guy storms out the shop. Then a "Learn English" slogan comes up... Well, I know the commercial sucks... It makes English speaking people so arrogant... But I know many Hong Kong people agree to the commercial...

Well, am I a bilingual? Haha, I don't know. There're too many definitions of bilingual. Not sure which one I should buy... I think the term doesn't bother me much. As long as I can communicate with the peopel around me, I'm happy.

The Promise

2006-03-10T03:38:00.000+08:00

I never forget the promise
He has made before me

For the passed years
He spilled it out again and again
I believe those words
Though sometimes
They don't sound real nor possible

Through out the years
They became my strength
To hold on
Though sometimes
They don't sound real nor possible

Sometimes, I fell and lost faith
Carried away by weaknesses
Drifted on the sea of emotions

I looked to the promise
The north star in the dim sky
Shines through the mist
I regained
Though sometimes
It doesn't look real
I looked at it again and again

Through out the years
It became my strength
To hold on
Though sometimes
It doesn't look real

Just Got Up

2006-03-08T16:27:00.000+08:00

Was used up yesterday. Went straight to bed after dinner. Been to so many places with Dean for the last six days. Got up early and slept late. Oh but I had a super dooper sleep last night. And here's the energetic Reese again *yay*! Actually, that were six fantastic days - Hanging out with Dean, having friends and family around, all the poeple I love. I thank God for those six days. Though I was physically exhausted, I was spiritually nourished.

Feel like waking up from a long dream... There're plenty of assignments are undone... - two research, two papers, a story... Well, I usually only write poetry here, but, I run out of idea today, maybe too tired... Anyway, just to keep this blog updated.

Dual

2006-03-02T10:17:00.000+08:00

I made him smile.
I made him feel good.

Did I make you smile?
Did I make you feel good?

Are you smiling?
Are you feeling good?

Will I make you smile?
Will I make you feel good?

I want to see your smile.
I want to make you feel good.

I smile when you smile.
I feel good when you feel good.

He's Cute

2006-03-01T16:02:00.000+08:00

Well, got this tonight and this is my favorite now. Like the way he looks in this one. Got no clue why he just loves hats. Wonder how many he got... Put this up 'cause he's put mine in his blog...

Servant Evangelism

2006-02-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

Before we share God's words of love
With a hurting world
We must first be willing to do
The deeds of love
Wth the heart of a servant

As we serve people freely
We plant seeds of God's kingdom
Love and kindness
Into people's lives that
No matter what else we do
God causes to grow

We do servant evangelism
We try to love others
Because we love Jesus

I AM

2006-02-25T15:27:00.000+08:00

I can use this bush
That staff in your hand
Or even your stammering lips
Whatever is available
To accomplish my plan
And fulfill my promises

For all that you lack
And everything you are not

I AM

Waiting

2006-02-23T08:33:00.000+08:00

I'm waiting for a wedding ring

I'm just waiting

Like sleeping beauty

My prince will come for me

I'm just waiting

God is writing my love story

God is preparing him for me

If get tired waiting till he comes

God's arms is the perfect place to run

Sleep that's the only thing for me

When I sleep God's preparing one for me

The Spot

2006-02-22T11:26:00.000+08:00

There's a place within my soul
A place that nobody knows
It's a place where they come and go
But no one can fulfill the the spot
Reserved for you
A place that is in demand
Needs a lot of love and
Someone to understand
It's a place where only GOD can fulfill

The More; The Less

2006-02-20T14:40:00.000+08:00

Well, I wanna love him well, without being self-cetered. This tells of the way I feel...

The more I'm in love
The more I want to give
The more I want to serve
The more I want to sacrifice
The less I think about the response
The less I think about the result
The less I think about the reward
The less I think about myself

Hands

2006-02-19T10:36:00.000+08:00

Wrote this long time ago. Posted in this blog before. Though this is a very short and simple one, I like it very much. It always reminds me the way God loves me. Well, I'm handing it in for the creative writing assignment.

Those hands...
made every beauty of this world
with power
and love

Those hands...
got nailed
with weakness
and love
　