...ItGOesON::::::: I Cried

Monday, May 14, 2007

Totally emotionally exhausted. Don't feel like praying, laughing, working or doing anything. Don't even wanna meet any of my friends. Just wanna hide in my house, and be with my family. Don't know what response I can give when I'm asked "How are you doing?" Apparently, I'm not fine at all; seriously I feel sick.

The scenes I saw in the hospital kept weighing on my mind. I've tried not to think about them and thought of something else. But they just came back. And when they are back, my tears just came out and I'd just start crying. I'm so tired of crying cause I've been crying for two days. I wondered if I'd become blind of crying.

I tried to talk to some brothers and sisters in Christ that I thought they'd care. Ironically, they didn't take it seriously. Their carefree speech hurts so much...

It's so hard to accept that someone you love so much is dying. What's worse is you know the person you cherish so much just doesn't mean anything to other people.

Everyday she's despised and insulted by people who should care about her. She's got no dignity at all. She can't walk and talk and see, so she can't escape and release her sorrows. But she still knows what are happening around her. The other day, I read her a gospel tract about God's unchanging love, she cried silently. I saw tears coming out from her shut eyes.