Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Almost finish the packing *yay*. Daddy just called a while ago. He told me to be aware of my "shower time". I love having shower. I can spend over an hour in the bathroom. It's a horrible hobbie. Sometimes my family are annoyed about it. Daddy said I'm staying in other people's home so that I need to be considerate. It definately will freak out my host if I spend an hour in bathroom. He asked me to control myself every time I have shower - try to limit the time I spend in hot water. I've promised daddy that I'd do my best to limit my shower time. Make sure I won't be a trouble.
Daddy's a wonderful man. He's very responsible. He loves his wife, son, daughters, and parents. He spends time talking to us even he's always busy. He likes buying us presents. He is friendly and kind. He's got a lot of friends. They all think daddy's a nice guy. Daddy always has respect for others, even the poor. He donates money to charities. I'm very proud of my daddy. Once my aunt (mummy's sister) said it's mummy's luck to have daddy *hehe*.
Sometimes, daddy and I have different opinion of certain issues. He doesn't always agree to what I said or did. But I know daddy still loves me the same. Because I'm his daughter. I love my daddy.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Dean should be in Melbourne right now. And me, going there tomorrow. Have been so busy with packing. So sleepy now... Can't write much. Just want to thank God for Bronze's advice about handling the customs. I know she's been praying for me. I love her. I hope I won't get "busted" by the customs. They can be a real pain on my neck...
Wondering what I'd experience in Melbourne. I've been to Perth six years ago. But Dean kept saying perth's just a hole. Melbourne's a lot different. Well, to me Australia is Australia; but to a local Australian like Dean, Perth is Perth, Melbourne is Melbourne. I know I'm going to meet some nice people and see some nice places/things. Most of all, I'm gonna see what God's prepared for me.
Oh, everybody's calling me these days - Sandy, Daniel, Josephine, Yanki, Harmony, etc... They're going to miss me... *Aww* Emmy and Jenny had a nice lunch with me. Kowkchee gave me two Columbia sports wear cupons, just in case I need to buy some big coats for the trip. Big Uncle and Lung asked about the time of the flight... They wanted to go to the airport with me (maybe)... *Aww* They're soo sweet! Some of them even asked me out just to pray for my trip.
I love you guys. you all are the best people I've ever met!! I'm soo thankful for you.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Dean's coming back tomorrow *yay*! Before Dean went to Vietnam, I told him that I didn't want him to go... And he said "but you can spend more time with God". He was right. I had much time with God these few days. Maybe I was less distracted (Dean is so attractive that he can be very distracting sometimes...), God spoke to me a lot. He brought up many big issues like the use of money, concept of commitment, and self image/identity.
I think the most full on part is the use of money. Recently, I'm having problems with it. Sometimes when I was walking on streets and saw some "pretty" girls, I looked at their faces, hair, and their outfits. I was tempted to dress myself up like them... Because I know that's not difficult - these girls are only made of nice hair styles, cosmetic, and fashionable clothes. But hey, that's a trap! - a money trap. Once you start "investing" money in your appearance, you can't stop! You'll just spend more and more money to maintain the good look. I've experienced that at teens. I was even in debt!
Jesus said "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21)". In Chinese translation, treasure also means money. So if I spend much money on good looks, my heart are in the good looks. Is it alright? Well, the bible tells us that "charm is deceitful and beauty is passing (Proverbs 31:30)". No matter how much we spend, beauty doesn't last (just look at Elizabath Tylor). Why should we place our heart in something doesn't last when we know there is something which lasts forever? It's God's kingdom. His kingdom lasts forever. That's the only place my heart should be, and so should my money.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Where does jealousy come from?
Sense of insecurity?
Desire for attention?
Fear of loosing speciality?
Pride?
Low self-esteem?
Blind to the truth?
Lack of faith?
Foolishness?
Saw an old friend on television. She was only in two scenes, and she didn't have anything to say. She was a hip-hop dancer in the show; and she's a hip-hop dancer in real life. She was a very close friend of mine in grade school. She brought me to every party she went. She liked sharing her wardrobe with me. She wanted me to wear what she wore. We sat together in class and had the same set meals after class. People in school called us "twins". I used to think we'd always be together... But then she moved to another school since she never did well in exams. After that, we caught up occasinally. But it didn't last as she met some "cooler" friends.
It makes me smile when thinking of the good hay days. It was good to see her on television. She'd always dreamed about being an artist in showbiz. And now she's doing what she dreamed of. In Hong Kong, many people stereotype hip-hop/break dance dancers as rebellious young people with lower intelligence. Dancing is another way for the "brainless" to make their living. I don't share this point of view. I do think being good at dancing is talented.
Well, it's funny to see how different we are now. Once we were two silly girls sitting side by side in a classroom. We had a lot in common: hair style, outfits, taste for food, favorite pop songs and singers, and secrets... Now, one is a teacher who has a modest image and likes no pop song and singer. Another is a trendy dancer who likes... I don't know *haha*... But sure we no longer share our secrets.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
I love God
Yes I love Him, very much
I know I can use so many sophisticated language features
to tell Him how much I feel for Him
But I just want to be blunt before Him
I love Him
Because he made me
The one who deserves everything He has
He loves me
From inside out
He saved me
Everytime I was in darkness
He takes good care of me
Even for the smallest deeds in my life
He provides everything I need
Physical, emotional, and spiritual
He never gives up on me
For I'm His
I love God
Yes I love Him, very much
Language can never enough to express
the way I feel for Him
It's so "primitive"
And I'm totally blown away
I love God
If people think it's dumb
Then I'm dumb
I love God
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Another night without Dean, Iris and Karen... Dean needs to stay in China for these few days; no time for Reese. Iris and Karen went to Europe for their vacation. So, I'm all alone... I'd always thought the house i'm living with my sisiters is too small. It's especially true when Dean came and stayed over night. Never knew it's such a big house... I've been looking at my photo albums in my computer. And I found some good pictures that are never been "released". I put my favorite one here.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Cleaning up the notes I studied in the degree program. I don't need them anymore so I can just throw them in the bin. But when I looked at them, I thought about how I'd gone through them. It was quite a lot of hard work. I can't believe I've gone through the whole degree program. I still remember how much I struggled in my first two years. It was tough. I was put in a program that I wasn't really capable to cope. The worse is I used to be a top student in high school. I'd always thought I could be on the top when I give all myself to it. However the fact is, it is not the case when it comes to languages. So many times, I doubted myself and God. I cried and complained. I was just like a silly kid throwing tantrum before her father. And now I'm all over it. How unbelievable is that! It's all God's grace.
Looking back, I wouldn't have met Dean if I wasn't in that degree program. And I wouldn't be able to communicate with him if I didn't study in this program. Most of all, I wouldn't have known how "nothing" I am if I didn't meet the elite students in my class. I learned there's nothing I can boast about myself. I thank God for showing me who I really am. So I can see who I am in Jesus Christ.
I'm still learning to see myself from God's perspective. It's not easy. We all have learned who we are from what people told us. We tend to believe what we are told. When I was a kid, many relatives and friends told me my eyes are too small, my skin is too tanned, my figure is too "flat". To me, that means ugly. I don't remember for how long I believed I was an ugly girl. But I remember how hard I tried to look better at my teens. I put on nice expensive clothes; wore much make-up... I never knew my beauty until Jesus came to my life.
People set up thousands of standards for beauty - what looks good, and what doesn't. They set up a "model" of beauty, and most of us think it's alright and copy the model. But how come it's alright when so many people become sad and frustrated when they can't become like the model? Sometimes they dislike themselves just because they don't look like the model. Some people even go under the knife for being like the model they admire. Why do some people want to look like someone else when God made them so unique and special? Doesn't being unigue and special feel good?
I'm not sure what God thinks about the beauty standard or model the world has set up. But one thing I'm sure is that God makes no mediocre.
