Stayed at home the whole day... just sat before the computer writing my assignments... Felt like a geek. But being busy's a good way to numb the pain I feel from the bottom of my heart... Yesterday, I talked to Yuki and Yolanda again. That wasn't what I wanted; they asked for it. To be honest, I don't know why I'd talk to them. I knew I'd gain nothing but disappointment, sadness, even resentment when the conversation's done... Maybe, I still had a lttle hope that they might listen to me, and even understand me this time. Again, I got disappointed...

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I'm tired, so tired of this pest norm! We talk; then we argue; we defend and attack; they hold on; I give in, and get hurt, and cry. They never listen, they just count -- count up the jobs you've done... It's all about the past! Why can't they look at the future? Why judge me with my past? Why can't they see we all are works in progress? Why can't they be patient? Why can't they observe my little changes? Changes take time, don't they? I need time and they want now... I feel sick... I've tried my best to love them, and I know they have too. I don't know what went wrong... what I finally get are tears. And everytime when I just get recovered, they hurt again. There it is a vicious spiral they we can't get rid of...