Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Too busy and tired to write lately... All I want is you by Planet Shakers, my favorite song for these few days. Due to the tight schedule of all the deadlines, the time I spend hanging with God is terribly shortened... And I found it unbearable! The longing for having longer time to hang with Him is burning inside me! This song tells a lot of how I feel for Him...
I've waited all my life to be here face to face.
I never knew that I could feel this kind of grace.
The way You show me that Your blood has washed me clean,
Could never be erased; it lives inside of me.
Take me to that secret place,
Where I can only see Your Face,
And nothing else will ever feel this way.
You take away my guilty stains,
The things I've done that I can't change,
It's only by the Power of Your name.
I stand here in this place,
See the Glory on Your Face,
Taken by the wonder of Your name.
I'm desperate for Your touch,
Never needed it so much,
Cause all I want is You.
When all the things around me have fallen to the ground
I'm always thankful for the love in You I've found.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
by Roy Lessin
For the eyes of the Lord search back and forth across the whole earth, looking for people whose hearts are perfect toward Him, so that He can show His great power in helping them.…” 2 Chronicles 16:9 TLB
God has called each of us to serve Him in the place He has us. In His eyes we all have a ministry. Many serve Him in a local church through a variety of ministries, such as music, teaching, youth work, or by being a part of the church staff. Others serve on the mission field, on the job, at school, or at home.
God knows you and He knows your heart desires to serve Him. You are someone that He will use to make a difference, to share His love, and to touch the hearts of others. What has qualified you for this high privilege of being used by Him? Is it your talents, your personality, your education, your influence, or your résumé? It is none of these; rather, it is the response of your heart toward Him. God is always searching for those whose hearts are yielded to Him so that He can work mightily through them.
Sometimes we can be led to think that God’s work is dependent upon us, upon what we do, and upon what we know. The truth is that God wants us to be totally dependent upon Him. He is the Treasure, we are the vessels; He is Vine, we are the branches; He is the Living Water, we are the channels through which He flows.
The apostle Peter was someone who needed to learn this important truth. Jesus taught him the futility of trying to get results through his own efforts by allowing him, an expert fisherman, to labor all night and come up empty. Afterward, when He followed Jesus’ word to cast out into the deep, Peter pulled in a catch that was beyond his dreams.
As His servant, remember that your ministry is His idea and not yours. He is the One who knows you, who has called you, and who has equipped you to serve Him. Remain true, remain faithful, remain restful, and remain totally dependent upon Him.
God is not looking for those who are clever,but for those in whom He can be wise;He is not looking for those who are talented,but for those to whom He can be all sufficient;He is not looking for those who are powerful,but for those through whom He can be almighty.
by Roy Lessin
Anyone who is familiar with the story of Alice In Wonderland will probably remember this quote, “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date.” All of us are impacted by time, appointments, schedules, days, and dates. Calendars have been a great tool to help us remember what day it is, what’s coming up in our schedules, and what important matters will need our attention. At the end of each year, a calendar is like an album containing little snapshots of what we’ve done and where we’ve been.
At home, our family has one simple rule, “Write everything down in pencil.” One important lesson a calendar teaches us is that plans can change. Doctor’s appointments get canceled, dinner dates get rescheduled, and anticipated events don’t work out. Thankfully, that doesn’t mean that our lives are out of control, that nothing is certain, and that there’s nothing we can trust in.
The Bible tells us that our times are in God’s hands. That means that God is bigger than time, dates, and appointments. God’s plans for your life do not hinge on someone else’s schedule. God’s plans for your life cannot be frustrated by what others do or don’t do. God knows where you’ve been, He knows where you are, and He knows where He is leading you. His plans for you are made according to His wisdom, His love, and His power to perform them.
God wants you to move through this day with a quiet heart, an inward assurance that He is in control, a peaceful certainty that your life is in His hands, a deep trust in His plan and purposes, and a thankful disposition toward all that He allows. He wants you to put your faith in Him, not in a timetable. He wants you to wait on Him and wait for Him. In His perfect way He will put everything together... see to every detail... arrange every circumstance... and order every step to bring to pass what He has for you.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
You are the glory on my face;
This face is made to show what beauty is,
You are everything I see in my eyes;
These eyes are made to witness your works,
You are the breath within my nostrils;
These breath long to satisfy you,
You are the praises on my lips;
These lips are made to sing your praises,
You are the voice my ears crave;
These ears are made to listen to you,
You are the strength I need for standing up;
These limbs are made to serve you,
You are the joints of my body;
These joints only bends for you,
You are every beat of my heart;
This heart is completely occupied by you,
You are the pulse running through my veins;
The blood tells of the wonders of the creation,
You are every moment comprises my life;
This life is to testify against the world,
You are the goal of my running;
I run for you until the very end of my days.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Listening to Kevin and Taylor on 104.7 the fish. I like them. They're funny people. Avalon's having a concert tonight... Oh how much I wanna be there and have fun! But I can't... It's a real pity to a big Avalon fan like me. Anyway, I have their CDs. I can play their songs instead of going... Hey! That's different! Stupid head! CDs can never compare with concerts. I know, but I've got no choice... I'm not in America right now... and air tickets are too expensive for me...
I was determined to forgive Yuki and Yolanda this morning. It was hard... The words they spoke to me just kept popping up in my mind, and they're kinda sticky. It was very hard to shake them off. Anyway, I've made a vow to forgive them; gotta keep my vow no matter how tough it will be. I know it takes time. But, it's okay. God's with me! Well, to be honest, I choose to forgive because I'm forgiven. Everyone needs forgiveness, right? Since all of us are bad sometimes... By the way, hatred's bad to me. It's such a big burden to me. Know that I might die sooner or later, who knows! I don't wanna die with the burden of hatred! I don't wanna meet my God with the burden! It's a shame to me!
Haha, now I'm free as I can be. My skies are clear. Forgiveness set me free.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Stayed at home the whole day... just sat before the computer writing my assignments... Felt like a geek. But being busy's a good way to numb the pain I feel from the bottom of my heart... Yesterday, I talked to Yuki and Yolanda again. That wasn't what I wanted; they asked for it. To be honest, I don't know why I'd talk to them. I knew I'd gain nothing but disappointment, sadness, even resentment when the conversation's done... Maybe, I still had a lttle hope that they might listen to me, and even understand me this time. Again, I got disappointed...
.
I'm tired, so tired of this pest norm! We talk; then we argue; we defend and attack; they hold on; I give in, and get hurt, and cry. They never listen, they just count -- count up the jobs you've done... It's all about the past! Why can't they look at the future? Why judge me with my past? Why can't they see we all are works in progress? Why can't they be patient? Why can't they observe my little changes? Changes take time, don't they? I need time and they want now... I feel sick... I've tried my best to love them, and I know they have too. I don't know what went wrong... what I finally get are tears. And everytime when I just get recovered, they hurt again. There it is a vicious spiral they we can't get rid of...
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Had a long nice nap this afternoon. I'm a typical sleeper; just can't live without having enough sleep! If haven't had enough sleep at night, I'll just take some during the day... Don't know why some of my friends can carry on with merely 5 to 6 hours sleep!
Megan looked very tired today. Actually she was. She keeps nagging at the kids and the parents... She's a nice funny person, and kids like her. But no matter how nice you are, you loose patience when you're desperate for a sleep or a treat. I've had enough experience of that. Things even get worse when you suffer from migraine! You can turn to another creature that blames whatever you see! Anyway... I was assigned to work with a new partner in this term. This is great 'cause I'm kinda person who gets bored very easily. Hope I can get along with her.
Have been working on an assignment for a week... It isn't finished yet... Things are more complex than they look. I don't bother to do it well but I do want what I do make sense. Ahh!! No more assignment talk! Just thinking about it is enough to make me sick!
Thursday, October 06, 2005
They said I was good looking;
they looked at the flesh I'd been hiding in
I looked at the inside of the flesh
which they never looked at
I'm ugly, I said
They said I was smart;
they saw the things I'd done
I saw the things I'd done
which they never saw
I'm stupid, I said
They said I was nice;
they heard the things I'd said
I listened to the words I'd said
which they never heard
I'm evil, I said
They said I was strong;
they saw my smiles in crises
I saw my tears I shed in crises
which they never saw
I'm weak, I said
They said I was rich;
they counted the things I had
I counted the things I didn't have
which I should have had
I'm poor, I said
They said Yes
I said No
They said No
I said Yes
I turned to you;
You said either Yes or No
You said I was beautiful;
You looked inside my flesh, my heart
Despite all ugliness
You said I was wise;
You paid attention to my moves
Despite all stupidity
You said I was lovely;
You listened to every word I uttered
Despite all evil
You said I was strong;
You see my smiles and tears in crises
Despite all weaknesses
You said I was rich;
You give me everything I need
Despite my prosperity
You said Yes
I said No
You said Yes
You have me, I said
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Awww...............Suffering from migraine, and it's terrible. I should blame myself for not going to bed early last night. Oh but I tried to... you know, it's hard for you to recognise time when you're building up your site. Anyway, I had a hard day. Everything seemed nonsense when I wasn't well. Wait, things weren't too bad though. You had a good time with your buddies right? Yeah, we had a lot of fun and laughter. Laughing's good. It helps reduce pain.
Well, having a test tomorrow... Gotta read a bit of the book. Oh but I'm too tired to do that. Feeling bad, and guilty by not reading the book. Tell me someone tell me what I should do! God, I trust everything to you. You know I'v got no choice... I've been doing my best, but now I'm just dying off... Please help me God. I need to cast off my burdens! Being with you; resting in you; holding you tight are what I want, you know that.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Well, I'm totally stressed out! I spent two hours sitting before the computer, and eventually I did nothing. I'm hopeless... I ain't gonna push myself any more. It's obvious that all I need are rest and sleep. Just wondering why should I worry too much when I can't do anything about the stuff. Stupid me... Hey, stupid but okay. I'm still okay. No cloud's hanging over me, at least. Samuel got me share my silly love poem before the class, very unexpectedly. He even asked me to read it out! It looked silly, I thought. But no, it doesn't, after I'd read it out (loud). It allows me to see how God's changed my vision of love. Here's the poem I wrote:
Love
Gentle, humble
Soothing, caring, giving
Love is endurance
Real and forever
...
I even talked about love with Iris and Sean when I got home. It was so much fun. Funny is knowing how they perceive love.
